Cancer & Family

Now.. the Lung!

2009-10-29T19:57:00.003+07:00

So, I thought everything was going to be fine..

And it has been a very very long time since I update myself and share this with others. Not that I've been keeping up to myself, but too many things going on and.. well, let's face the ugly truth. And I don't even know where to start.. Man, do I need to start writing again!

My lungs has just got worse that now I'm in bed and haven't been on work for almost 4 months. Financially broke, emotionally not happy, and I really depend on lots of people right now which I don't like at all knowing that I've always been independent from A to Z.

It all started at school when I suddenly had my very first vertigo. I thought I had brain wreck there and I was rushed in to the hospital from school. I did make my mom and the rest of the world panic, so we checked first with brain scan. Luckily: brain was okay. So, we checked for other things as well. Colon, clear. Ovary, clear. Lungs, NOT CLEAR!

The spots on my lungs were a lot!

So, what then?

Of course: Singapore.

And of course another trip for chemotherapy, which I hate, but I have no choice.

My poor lungs was covered with the spots that I need more oxygen. No wonder I've been catching up with my breath lately.

So far, I've been getting 5 chemos already. Was it good? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.... I could only do 3 chemos in Singapore. I cannot afford to go there anymore. Not financially, but physically. I need to carry portable oxygen everywhere I go and I cannot have that in the plane. Actually the plane has it. I just don't like it. Hehehehehe... but apart from that, I couldn't seat straight anymore. After 3 chemos, we decided to continue the rest of the chemos here in Jakarta because of my condition using the same drug. Funny thing, my oncologist said that I should feel the difference after with just 2 chemos. Yes, I did feel the difference: not getting any better that is. I've becoming weaker and starting not to be able to do activities. WIERD! Even worse, I become more dependent on the usage of oxygen tank! What the hell is going on to me?

Now, I just did the 5th chemo here in Jakarta and we changed the whole drug. It means that the drug I used was not well received by my body, right? Does that make any sense?? My oncologist here said that we should see difference after 2 chemos, which I believe in so much. Let's change the drug and we'll see the difference. Uuuuuuh, look at me fighting! hehehehehhee...

I took the chemo last week and ... even worse! Or maybe the result is a bit slower and I should just be patient. After all it's just been a week. But I'm weak.

Cut things short, I came to a decision that all this crap doesn't work anymore so I want to stop the chemo. I don't know whether it's a good decision or not, or maybe even a crazy one.

I can't even say anything anymore.

All I've been doing is just praying for miracles.

At this time around, never let yourself apart from God.

God loves us so much that any simple things even complicated one is very magical. And I happen to believe that. I know that He won't let me or anybody down.

So now, I give up.. well, not really, actually.. I never give up.. I just ask His hand and His way to show me the right way to heal. When I pray to Him and ask Him to show me the way, a part of me feels very light. I feel that some weigh was just lift up and I was happy.

Not that I'm trying to be a new preacher here.. hahahahahahaha... but believe me, I feel very calm compare than before. Not that I don't pray, but this time it is just different. I feel relief.

Okay, enough of that.. I don't know what to write anymore.. hehehehehehe...

Be positive

I stay positive

My family and friends are all around me

Believe in God - He does magic and everything with Him is POSSIBLE!!

Be happy - as people say.. :D

Just Checking..

2008-12-02T16:45:00.009+07:00

After a month of feeling scared with my finger crossed whenever people ask "So, how do you feel?".. After those prayers of need of comfort, bless, and heal.. After the feeling numbness in mind while waiting for another CT Scan.. I finally received my Emmy Award. The hell..??

HAHAHAHA...

It's been a month since my last chemotherapy. I wasn't worry so much during the vacuum weeks until the CT Scan time. All the way from Jakarta to Singapore, I had a feeling that my cancer doesn't go anywhere (or should I say I'm at a Stagnant Stage? where the hell that term comes from..). I went to Singapore a day before my CT Scan. This time I had to beg and drag my sister to come along with me since the trauma of going to Singapore with my mom. Enough is enough! I'm not trying to bad-mouth my own mother, but the last 4 chemos I went with my mom was nothing but a painful trip. Don't ask me why, but I think it has something to do with the closeness between mother and daughter.. and we're VERY NOT CLOSE at all. It's like a Tom & Jerry show - and she should've been lucky that I didn't poison her at all. So, there I was.. beg and drag my sister to accompany me CT Scan and see the doc.

The result of my CT Scan was just like what I thought. It doesn't go anywhere and it stays the same. No improvement, but it doesn't get any worse as well.
Was it a good news?
I think so.. The doctor said it was suppose to be a good news and that I should be happy with the result. I could only sigh when I looked at my CT picture. As usual, my mind went blank and my sister was the one who do the asking and talking - and I could tell the doctor was much happier explaining to my sister than my mother.

Other thing that my onco told me to do was to keep a well-balanced diet. There's no food restriction for me. Eat whatever I want in good portion. The interesting part is that when my sister asked about eating meat. According to my onco: there's no proof that meat causes cancer. Me and my sister were like: ReaLLy??? And my sister told the doc about the article she found about this couple .. the wife had cancer and died because she didn't keep a well-balanced diet (read: she ate meat!), and her husband also had cancer but still alive because he change religion to a vegetarian. And here's an answer that made me and my sister stunned: that person died because of the lack of nutrition. Then he explained in details...

Our body needs the most nutrition we can get. Meaning, not too much of one thing, but enough of everything. There's no proof that meat causes cancer, so you can have some of that, too, once in a while. There's a reason why a cancer patient should eat with well-balanced diet. Imagine this (since I don't know how to put this in nice phrase): Cancer hates veggies and fruits, right? (Well, this is according to what people believe to fight cancer). If we control ourselves by eating veggies and fruits only and becoming a true vegan, the small and annoying cancer cells are more likely to get use to it and more likely to be healthy (because we're feeding them with only veggies). And when the cancer cells eat more of that veggies and fruits, our body will have a deficit of nutrients (note that our body needs various kinds of nutrients so that we can stay strong). Now, if the cancer cells eat our food, then we don't have the food to stay strong. More over, if we're not strong to fight this bloody cancer, we can die.. eventually. And that would be dumb if people die because of lack of nutrients.

My onco also said that a lot of times we hear, "Hey, that person also had chemo, and she died anyway. So, chemo is not that good, right?"

That depends:

What did she/he eats after the chemo?
Just fruits and veggies?

Well, good luck dying with lack of nutrients.

Unfortunately, chemo is the necessary bitch to fight cancer! That's the way my friend, Felicia, put it. And I have to agree to that term.

YES. Chemo is the necessary motha'fucka' bitch to fight cancer.

It sucks, but it works. But if when you're done with chemo and still lack of nutrients, then that settles everything: die.

And the "eating" point that my sister and I understood from the 15 minutes conversation with the onco:

Eat whatever you want and have fun, stay healthy.
Eat everything in moderation and have a balanced portion of everything.

But in my point of view, YEEEEEEHAAAAAAA...! Party on!! This is the time where we should watch and see by consuming the right food.
And what I do to myself is ...
I still drink that Starbucks Caramel Frappucino.. once every 4 months, and only if someone buys it for me.
I still eat spicy Indonesian food.. Unfortunately, spicy food does prevent cancer, believe it or not.
I still sip nice cold soda.. Never finish the whole thing. A sip or two would do just fine.
and.. ALWAYS include the greens and the colorful fruits in any meal.

As for me, I still choose to be a moderate vegan. I splurge myself with whatever I like on a month of my family birthday. Say, this month we have 3 celebrations: my birthday, Christmas, and my brother's birthday. That means I have to choose 1 day that I can eat whatever I want (and that's suppose to be my birthday, tho..).
It's much more exciting for me this way and I still live a good life..

ps: Thanks mbak DDQ and mas Ray for the company to the hospital. Love you both and you guys rock.!! God Bless You.

Dug.. Dug.. Dug..

2008-11-11T13:48:00.003+07:00

Another CT Scan to be done on Friday.. means.. another "heart-gym" for me.
What the hell is that doctor is going to tell me this time?
"Hey.. no more cancer there.. but, wait.. what the hell have been inhaling for the past 1 month!"

Tell you the truth, I'm not that excited to go. But that doesn't mean that I'm giving up in this crazy battle of cancer. If you imagine a soldier, that poor soldier with a bullet-proof jacket is standing with no excitement, holding to a pole, and ready to be shot. I know that if I'm not going, my Oliver is just going to ship my butt off to the plane.

Even today, I haven't told my so-called assistant that I'm going to be at school half-day on Thursday and off on Friday. This assistant story is actually quiet funny. He (yes, my assistant is a male) is actually quiet .. well, how do I put this in a nice word..

Well, here's to start..
He's been in my library since August. Actually, he was relocated from Elementary to Junior High for a reason they (the directors) never told me about. So, I thought, Okey.. cool.. at least he can help me get half of my job done. He's, I have to say, very obedient. Whatever I tell him to do, he'd do it and he'd ask me questions whenever he's unsure of doing things around in the library. And I never treat him like an assistant. Instead, I treat him like a friend. I'm just trying to be nice here, otherwise I'm known to be such an notorious evil human being. And it shows that he really enjoys working with me. I gave him some responsibilities, and sometimes it works just fine.
So, when I went to Singapore about a month a go for my last chemo, I asked him to be in charge of the library while I'm gone. I wrote everything that he needed to pay attention to and whatever needed to be done. I also gave him my Singapore number for emergency. When I was back in the office, everything was fine and, of course, lots of reports from him. He also told me not to leave him alone in the office too long. I don't get what he meant, but I'd say fine.
Now that he's been working with me for 3 months, I noticed that he really can't shut his mouth. He talks ALL THE TIME. There's just always things he asks me and now I know that he's anxious ALL THE TIME. I'm beginning to ask myself: what the fuck is going on with this guy?? For Christ sake, leave me alone! The more questions you ask me, the longer time I need to get this motherfucker work done!
And there are times where I can easily get pissed off of that small things, such as "can I shut down the computer?" Hell, yeah!! It's 4.30 PM and the Library is closed at 4 PM, students left already, and it's in the manual that We Close at 4 PM.
Oh My God!
Now that I know he's like that, this time I'm not telling him that I'll be leaving for Singapore on Thursday. Hahahahaha... And worse, he doesn't even know that I'm not working this Friday. HAHAHAHAHAHA....

Call me a bitch, my ears need a break from his goddamn questions..

PHEW!

2008-10-25T01:06:00.002+07:00

Phew!
Phew!
Phew!

Finally!
That ridiculous Xeloda is gone. I felt so happy when swallowed the last pills this morning.
I have been waiting for this moment for months. Gosh..
Waiting for those pills to finish is like waiting for .. I dunno.. you tell me.

While I was on Xeloda, I have this hideous side effect. I already have sleeping problem even without the Xeloda. It is just a minor side effect, tho, but it was such a pain in the ass. Now that I was reviewing my medication intake and wrote them down while I was enjoying the Friends sitcom (with annoying background of my mom asking me questions that I don't even care), I realized that what I've been going thru for the past 8 months was the less common side effects of Xeloda.
These are what I experienced:
1. Insomnia (yeah.. even worse.. with the sleeping problem I have..)
2. Cough (HAH! double worse with the actual cough)
3. Swelling of the feet
4. Low white blood cell count (which then I had to take the Neupogen injection and nobody could do it right, except my friend Melissa and my cousin's friend, Didit)
5. Taste changes

Luckily, my appetite was still good. When everybody asked me about my appetite, they were just surprise to see me eat just anything - the whole tree if I have to. I myself am quiet surprise to see moi-meme that I have a good appetite. Except that I was just sick of eating steamed veggies. They're just so yuck..

Besides that I had good appetite, I still had my energy. Yes, baby, this crazy Stephanie just have 13 lives (4 more than a cat)!
I still have my busy schedule:
1. working full time at school's library
2. teaching piano after school and on weekends (luckily, my weekend student is a very talented and smart one. So, no harm and happy to do it)
3. working on my own association (which goes nowhere.. hahahaha..)
4. busy with another association
With all of the activities above that I do on daily basis, I still manage to be with my family - especially with my niece and nephew - and friends. Man.. I do have a busy schedule! 24 hours ain't enough for a girl like me.

But tonite.. I couldn't be any happier than to see my Xeloda is finito.
Even though I'm sick of eating veggies and fruits - please, never like them ever since I was small anyway, I am so looking forward to enter a new phase of my life. Especially the food! Yumm... All I have in mind for the past 2 weeks is this yummy salad, fresh juice.. Well, it's not that I didn't eat them at all, but I wonder why am I like this?

Hell with everything!
I'm getting my salad from The Coffee Bean tomorrow afternoon!!
Yeeeehaaaaaaaa....!!!

*toast*
To a new phase of life ...

Over with Chemo and.. now what..?

2008-10-19T20:28:00.002+07:00

So, about a month ago I went for my 7th chemo and CT Scan.
Surprisingly, nothing much happened with my lungs since the last chemo.. It just stays the same..
No improvement, but it's not getting worse as well..
Maybe my body just sick of chemo and it just rejects all kinds of chemical thing.. or not?
MUST BE.. Even I'm getting sick of eating healthy food. Really.
Lately I've been eating whatever food I feel like eating. From pancakes to fried rice, and ice cream to bubble drinks.
This last damn chemo.. I really had to struggle to get out of bed and make myself visible in the chemo room. Damn it was so hard. I just didn't want to do it at all. But I kept thinking: shit, if this isn't for you (Oliver), I won't do it. I would just escape from the hospital and take the very next flight to Jakarta.
Luckily, I managed to sit throughout the whole chemo session and fell asleep - and Ivan was next to me throughout the chemo. With Ivan, YES, we broke up. But it doesn't mean that we can't be friends, right? He's been my Chemo Buddy for Christ sake!
And until this minute, I still manage not so skip pills. The last 2 chemos, I didn't even care taking the pills or not. Sometimes I even did it on purpose.

And now...

Well, November 14th I will have another CT Scan. God forbid.. PLEASEEEEEEE... no more weird spreading.
As my onco said: we just wait and watch.. Dude, you scared the shit out of me.

*sigh*
That's exactly what I'm gonna do now.. WATCH and SEE..
Meanwhile, I'm starting to become a vegan freak again as soon as the Xeloda's finished.

I can't wait!!

2 More To Go

2008-08-28T14:47:00.003+07:00

So not happy with chemo.
I just arrived from Singapore last week and I'm not looking forward to do chemo anymore.

I'm experiencing bitterness on my tongue after this chemo. It just feels uncomfy. More tired and easily annoyed.. it's just different.

What I noticed as well.. Well.. it started from when Ivan, maybe, just jokingly asked for my egg so he and his wify can have a baby. Things went wrong with her egg, that's why. I was so pissed and mad, and, as usual, I never really show it to anyone - including him. I was boiling, tho, for 5 minutes, but that was it. So he thought I was really mad at him - which I did, for 5 minutes. He texted me several days after and I responded as usual but it just seemed different even though I was not mad at him anymore. To cut story short, regardless what happened between us, he was still there for me during chemo - and he got me a really nice DKNY blouse! What saddend me was that we didn't talk much at that day. I usually want him to be near me until the last boarding call in Changi. This time, I couldn't say anything much but to let him go and got in different cab. My mood was not good at all.

What more is, since I'm no mood for taking any chemo, today I completely forgot to take my chemo pills! Good work, Steph..

Count down.. 2 more chemo to go. The doc said that we should see again in 3 weeks time. So, on .. if I'm not mistake.. the 11th of Sept I'll have a CT Scan and have to drink that tasteless pee-water (according to Ivan) and see the doctor. If the CT Scan shows same result as the last CT Scan, then we'll take a break. If the result shows that the spots are fewer, then we'll go on with the chemo 2 more times. Damn it!

Last, on next chemo.. my sister better come with me instead of my mom.

Where the hell have you been?

2008-08-03T09:37:00.001+07:00

Yes, I know it’s been awhile since I write. No news doesn’t mean a not good news, tho. In fact, I’ve been trying to enjoy my life … with my baldness.

I took a month break from chemo. Well, it’s not really a break. After 4 chemotherapies, I decided not to continue anymore. There are actually 8 chemos in all, but I just couldn’t take the side effect of it anymore. Every time after chemo, I always have this unbelievable nausea – even though it’s only just for couple days. So, after the 3rd chemo, I decided the 4th would be the last one.

I even tried to escape from the clinic when I was about to get the 4th one, but Ivan followed me around. So, how could I? Fat chance! I took it anyway, with heavy heart in me. I kept telling Ivan during chemo that that chemo would be the last one and no more after that one. Even the oncologist just had to let me go after the 4th chemo. After 3 weeks (or was that 4?), I came back to the hospital and did some check up, and my mind was set to the decision that I was not going to take chemo anymore. Maybe, in my oncologist’s term that would be giving your body a holiday. I thought, hell with it! I ain’t takin’ it anymore. So, I got out of the hospital happily with my mom and Ivan.

Of course, when I arrived home at Jakarta, I felt so good sleeping without the nausea, diarrhea, and muscle pain. But then, everyone at home was asking me why didn’t I take the chemo. I could only smile and tell them: if only you have cancer and in my position, you bitch. I knew it wasn’t a right decision. Everybody slowly kept telling me to continue with the chemo – even Oliver told me to just finish it. Crap double crap!

So, here I am now.. took the 5th chemo last week, Nausea was hell. It was the first time in my chemo life that I vomited 5 times in a day. But I’m okey now. I’ve gained some weight (please, you don’t wanna know how much I weigh now), back to work as usual, and have been busy with lots of things.

Now, let me concentrate on my new association for professional young adults in their 20s to 30s with cancer: Living with Cancer Society.

Bald with Bling!

2008-04-22T22:20:00.002+07:00

Wednesday, April 16, I've experienced my first hair loss.
I was in between shock and flat feeling. Well, shock first. But then I told my self to calm down, and take a shower. Stupid me, I even washed my hair. Goodness Lord! It was more on my hand.
What the heck.. shower anyway. They day went just fine, till the end of the day at work where I noticed lots of hair on the floor.
I was hoping that the hair loss wouldn't be too severe. But I heard that since I took Oxaliplatin before, and I didn't have any hair loss, so maybe the drug said: Pay Back Time!!
Oh crap..!
Well, at least I already prepared myself. After family picture taking 2 weeks ago, I cut my hair short. In a way I was preparing not only myself, but also friends and family. I thought that they're the one who have to be prepared looking at me with different hairstyle.
So, this short hair last exactly 2 weeks.
Just last Sunday, April 20, I shaved it off. BALD. I was not ready to see bald patches around my head (So as Jace from planetcancer)
I reject wigs. My friends, aunties, even mom told me to wear wig. But I think they look fake. So I decided to wear scarf around my head. Look much better.

My first show of bald with bling to public was yesterday. I wore batik scarf around my head, and it looked good! Too bad I didn't take picture with that thing on my head.

But you know what.. I just noticed that not only the hair on my head that falls out, but also some other parts.. you know what I mean..? hhahaaha.. At least I don't need to do bikini wax for awhile. It's clean on its own! hahahahaha...

What the hell..?

2008-04-16T23:50:00.006+07:00

First, it was colon cancer. I went through it, and on October I was free from it.
Then I got Ovarian cancer. Had the surgery, and I coped with it.
Now, lung cancer.

My goodness!!!

Luckily it was detected early.
Funny thing is that I don't have the symptoms. Really.

Let's fight again now..

2008-03-22T00:53:00.002+07:00

Guess what I tried!
This is just an experiment, try this at your own risk.
It's Fried Vegetarian Soba.
If you ask me how is it taste, it actually taste like feet. Hahaha..
But, it never hurts to try.

Ingredients:
Shallots (chop into small pieces)
Garlic (chop into small pieces)
Onion (cut in half and chop into half circle)
Rosemary leaves
Mushrooms (lots.. lots.. and lots of them, chop to 3 pieces each)
Paprika (use half of it, take out the seeds, and cut into pieces)
Cherri tomato (3 pieces, and cut in half)
Soba (cook it just like you cook spaghetti. 2 minutes in boiling water. Drain and wash it with cold water. Put aside)
1 tbs. Olive Oil or Coconut Oil
Rock salt

1. Cook Shallots, garlic, rosemary leaves with olive oil or coconut oil, preferably coconut oil.
2. Add chopped onion, cook until the color turns a bit golden.
3. Add mushrooms, paprika, cherri tomato.
4. Throw a pinch of rock salt
Once everything smells good, toss in the cooked soba and add a drizzle of the oil.
Mix the in the pan.
Don't over cook.
Ready to serve!

Bon appetit!

Another Great Salad From The Fridge

2008-03-20T09:05:00.006+07:00

Salmon Tossed With Whatever-You-Have

Salad

Get whatever vegetables you have in your frigo.
Shown, I only have:

Lettuce
Pineapple
Cucumber
Mushroom
Tomato
Onion
Carrot
Broccoli

Add a bit of fresh smoked salmon.
For dressing: use French Dressing

Amien to that and live healthy and happy

Coming up next: sugar free fruit based dressing

2008-03-18T23:19:00.004+07:00

Photobucket Album

Places I've Been and Places I'd Love To Go

2008-03-18T19:07:00.000+07:00

Cannes, France

London, England

Milan, Italy

Venice, Italy

Monte-Carlo, Monaco

Athens, Greece

Singapore, Singapore

Kissimmee, FL, USA

New York City, NY, USA

Aspen, CO, USA

Boston, MA, USA

Geneva, Switzerland

Create your own travel map or travel blog

Visit TripAdvisor.com

Edamame Rocks!

2008-02-26T18:31:00.003+07:00

You know I've been a starter vegetarian for the past 2 weeks, right..? Well, at least I'm trying to be a vegetarian for the sake of my bloody cancer. I never really like veggies and fruits, so I'm just trying to eat fun! What the heck is Eat Fun..? That I dunno. I'm just trying to beat this Satan-called cancer out of my life.
Anyway, while I was looking for a raw, healthy snack in the supermarket, I found Edamame Beans! Yup yup! Edamame Beans. Sometimes it takes time for me to find that I can actually eat such yummy food for snack. So, been munching that Edamame for my snack for the past .. 2 weeks..? I just realized that that is the kind of snack/appetizers they serve in some Japanese restaurant.

Here's something about Edamame from WebMd:

Some people worry that eating edamame isn't good for us because we aren't cooking it very long. They think that the short cooking time does not eliminate the enzyme that inhibits digestion of proteins.

I'm here to tell you, open that bag of shelled edamame! Continue to peel those pods (if you like buying edamame with their shells). In case you haven't come across these mild flavored green soybeans, they are available in the frozen section with or without their shells. They need only brief cooking and are completely different from dried mature soybeans, which must be soaked and cooked until tender. It seems the enzyme that can inhibit protein digestion doesn't even "turn-on" until the bean is completely matured. Plus, edamame beans are blanched right after harvest at high temperatures that inactivate various enzymes that might cause digestive disruption.

Dr. Lester Wilson, University Professor of Food Science and Human Nutrition at Iowa State University, has been quoted as saying that "the frozen edamame available in supermarkets and restaurants has been blanched before freezing and is reheated before serving (usually several minutes in the microwave). This heating inactivates or denatures the SBTI (soy bean trypsin inhibitor) that might otherwise bind with the trypsin enzyme and interfere with protein absorption."

Wilson goes on to explain that, while a tiny amount of trypsin inhibitors may remain, there's not enough to cause any harm. In fact, a tiny amount of trypsin may act as an anti-cancer compound.

Here are my favorite ways to use edamame:

Add to fried rice (the lower fat version in my book, FRY LIGHT, FRY RIGHT!) instead of peas
Add to scrambled eggs
Add to green salad instead of kidney beans <-- I've been eating my edamame like this!
Puree with avocado to make guacamole
Add to canned or homemade soups
I like to eat them as a snack by themselves too! <-- See, I told you!

Eat Your Greens! Eeeeewwwww...!!

2008-02-16T23:20:00.006+07:00

Ever since I'm on the green, I've been experimenting my own food.
And since I don't eat animal products and processed food (cooked, canned), I ONLY eat raw food (sushi and sashimi are acceptable). Sometimes I do eat cooked food, fried food (not too much..), steamed food. The thing is, I'm trying not to eat any of animal products (including chicken, fish) because they can turns to be a carrion. Even if you cook them, they turn to be a carrion. Why sushi and sashimi are acceptable, that's because even if they can turn to be a carrion they can still be eaten raw. But stop there first!
Here are some other food that I allow myself to eat. Hope it's useful for you (if you wish to be on a diet, that is). Think of it as food for beauty, not for healing cancer.

DO EAT:

All kinds of vegetables and fruits (no restriction on this, but I don't allow myself to eat the heavenly food: durian). Raw is much better than steam, cooked.. Point is, eat raw! Hey, you can even drink sugarcane juice, too!

Sushi and sashimi. Je prefere sashimi, tho, because it's raw. And I like salmon sashimi. Salmon gives you lotsa energy. But only consume this raw meat once a week. Your tummy is not an aquarium nor a zoo.

Spice up your greens. Add soba noodles. Soba is made of wheat. Yes, it's a processed food, but it's the only one you can eat. No starch. Add this to your salad. Just a bit, don't use the soup, tho.

You can eat Tofu and Tempeh (no, duh! of course!!). But you wouldn't want to eat them raw. I like fried tempeh, and I only fried the tempeh with olive oil (if I no choice), but mostly with coconut oil. I don't look at the healthiness aspect. Hee.. hee.. Oops..! But when you cook your food with coconut oil, it smells so damn good. After that, your tempeh will have this crunchy taste. For tofu, ah.. just make soup. Hardly deal with tofu. My mom likes to make tofu soup, whatever-the-heck- tofu. For me, I like tofu with lots of chili. Especially the one from that Korean resto, Soon Dubu Chige. If my tofu doesn't come like that, then forget it.

Your food needs dressing. Naked food just so not hip. Use Italian dressing or French dressing. If you don't have both, use Olive oil. Keep Olive Oil and coconut oil handy. You can use them for cooking and as a salad dressing.

Keep away from milk. Milk is from animals. Substitute milk with Soy Milk. However, you have to pay attention to what kind of soy milk you're getting. Only unsweetened soy milk or soy milk that is made with sugarcane.

Can eat plain unsweetened yoghurt. Even though they're actually come from milk, they're actually rotten milk which is good for your health. Avoid flavored yoghurt because they contain sugar. I already say bye bye, adios, sayonara to those flavored yoghurt. If you don't like that plain unsweetened yoghurt, mixed them with your favorite fruits. I sometimes mix my plain yucky yoghurt with oat bran. Oat bran is your fibre source and it's made of.. oat. I eat my oat bran with warm soy milk. Taste like feet, but it's better than nothing because any kind of cereal is a no-no. Cereal has lots lots lots of sugar. So, no cereal!

DON'T EAT:

Meat - including chicken, fish (except sushi or sashimi). Why? they can turn to be carrion, remember..??
Any animal products. Think.. think.. think! That means, no milk, no cake, no ice cream. Well, use your thinking cap, man! Dairy products, eggs.. they're a no-no.
Starch
Bread. Surprise?? Me, too! Bread is processed food. How about wheat bread? Sorry, man. Same thing. Lots of process going on to become bread.
Noodles. Say good bye to Top Ramen! You, darling, can only eat soba with restriction.
Alcohol drinks
Sodas
Coffee, tea,
SUGAR. You really have to read the labels on anything you're about to consume. If it has the word sugar in it, then drop it.

Actually, it is easy to remember:

No processed food and drinks,
no animal products,
no sugar.

Here's a glimpse of my first, I call it, half-vegan food.
I call this:

Nina's fresh cancer free salad

You need:

Lettuce
Tomato
Soba (not to soggy after you cook them), and don't use the whole soba from the plastic. 1 plastic soba can last with 10-15 salad.
Smoked salmon
Eno mushroom. Just a little bit, and fried them with olive oil. After you cook them, drain the oil down until the mushroom gets really really dry.
Cucumber

Toss them in a large bowl, and pour olive oil to suit your taste. Add a pinch of black pepper, and you're ready to eat. Keep them in your frigo, and you can have the salad for dinner as well!

That damn tumor!

2008-02-16T21:15:00.022+07:00

Bloody tumor that was trying to kill me!

Dimension:
8 x 16 cm

Date of picture taken:
January 10, 2008

Picture taken by:
Uuuh... I think it was the surgeon

Estimated time of surgery:
4 to 5 hours

Actual time of surgery:
Less than 1 hour

Estimated hospitalization time:
2 weeks

Actual hospitalization time:
3 days

Name of people waiting outside the surgery room:
Ibu Dedeq, Ibu Lesna, Ibu Annie, and my darling, Ivan

My waiting troop
before I went to the Operation Theatre

Human Delivery fresh from the Operation Theatre

So.. what happened after that?

Well, the tumor was somewhere behind the right ovary. Luckily, it did not stick to the ovary.
Phew!
What the docs did : they threw out my right ovary and the eggs from the right ovary. The left ovary is safe. Hallelujah! But to keep me safe - knowing I was so stressed out that I may not be able to bear any children - they keep the eggs from the left ovary. In short they freeze my eggs, and, yes, I'm on my menopause now.

So, how am I going to have children? There are 2 options.
First option: have my eggs planted on other woman's and have that woman pregnant with my eggs and my chosen man's sperm. It's like a surrogate mother. A bit complicated, but I think that's what they meant.
Second option: I could get pregnant again. How? I need to have these hormones injected first so that I can get my menstruation again. After I get my menstruation again, they'll insert my eggs back to me (I dunno how they're going to do it, but they say they can!), and I can get pregnant again. However, that can only happen if I don't take chemotherapy this year. If I take another set of chemotherapy this year, I will have to wait for 5 years in order to get pregnant. Why? Because my body would need 5 years to be clean - including clean from the chemotherapy drugs.
Doesn't really make any difference, huh? Even now I still have to wait for another 4 years to be able to get pregnant since my chemo drugs still flowing in my bloodstream. The effects are still with me: numb hands, feet feels like there are rocks inside, and easily get leg(s) cramp.

And the next plan is..??

I have no idea what's the next plan.. At first I was so eager to get another chemo and deal with bloody tumor as I was sooooooo afraid that there could be some itsy bitsy tumor still spreading here and there, but then I don't even give a shit. Not that I give up on my own life. I just don't want to deal with any more chemo. Imagine if I have to take another set. Another nausea.. another excuse.. bla.. bla.. bla.. mbeeeeek... I'm just sick of it and I'm sure that there's another way to get this shit out of me.
And guess what? THERE IS OTHER WAY OUT. Well, this one is not from my doc in Singapore, tho. The smart guy in S'pore said that I still need to take the chemo. 1 level higher than the one I took plus another so-called magic infusion called Avastin. Hell with it. My other way out is to change my lifestyle. Didn't I do that already..? Yes, I did. But this time I have to switch a little bit. If yesterday I only turned 45 degrees, this time it has to be 90 degrees. Didn't get what I mean? So do I. Anyway, there was this voice that keep telling me to consume just veggies and fruits. Meaning, I have to be a vegetarian. No meat, no sugar, nothing!
Oh, No!!!!!!!
Well, fat chance! I have to be cured and it has to start now!

Being a vegetarian is no joke. It takes lots of courage to do this, especially me who never like veggies and fruits. I started with being a half vegan. For fun I still drank Milo, Ovaltine but already off the ice cream. Wanted to cry when I had to say good-bye to ice cream. Is like leaving my diamonds behind! My last taste of ice cream was on Valentine's day. Not that I romantically ate ice cream with my boyfriend. Dream on, s'il te plait... It was on my niece's birthday party. The ice cream tasted so gooooooood that I started to think it was even better than having sex. Well, sex is always better than anything. Hehehe.. Pervert-menopause-bitch!
However, I can see the benefit of this already. I'm a bit leaner that I was in January. Actually, I've lost weight, just no too obvious. My boyfriend keep nagging me on my weight: "55 and that's enough, sayang! Keep on the same weight. Don't lose, don't gain too much" Man, sometimes I just want to choke him. Anyway, I feel that my body is healthier, my skin is glowing, and, if I'm looking at myself right, I have flat tummy (of course, the tummy tuck helps as well but visible appearance won't be too obvious until May).

I think I'm happy the way I am now. I really take care of me (Oh, yeah, you, too, sweety. You really take care of me. Even though sometimes your worry towards my health really gets on my fucking nerve, I know you mean good. Thank you, sayang!)
Really. He makes sure that I eat my vitamins, the oat brans, eat right, etc. My family is always there for me. My sister especially. My sister makes me feel like a normal healthy human being. I bet she's worry sick about my health, but in front of me she really treats me as a person.

Ah, well..

BTW, these are my troops in Singapore while I was at my lowest..

From left to right:
Ibu Lesna (or we usually call her: Mami), Ibu Annie (that's my mom at the back), Ibu Dedeq (we call her Mbak Dedeq, or we usually tease her as Ibu Bandar), Mas Nanang (a good friend who's always there for us, especially me. Or not..??)

Ivan (or Ipan as we always tease him. He's the one who make sure that I take my vits, eat right, home early, eat my brans, etc.) Talkative, but love him anyway (hey, that's all I got for now..!)

New Year, New Verdict

2008-01-07T19:52:00.000+07:00

Ugh.. dunno what to say anymore..

It's been a year since the New Year, and let me wish you all a good new year.. may all your wish come true (just like a birthday wish).

Anyway, what's your new year resolution (say, plan for the whole year)?
My plan was:
1. Start a family with godknowswhothefatheris.
2. Work better.

It's nice don't you think to start a new year with something that you can actually work on. Membuat suasana lebih bersemangat '45 bak melawan Kompeni.
Actually, I had a splendid New Year Party. Ada keluarga yang annoying, ada keluarga yang loveable, ada good friend yang udah kayak keluarga (it's fun to have you around, Adi! Taon depabn lagi ya kalo gue masih 'idup. Hehehehe)

For me.. this new year is like piece of shit that I need to fight and it's devastating.

Picture it, 2 January 2008, Blok A bagian jualan atribut pertukangan rumah. 10 AM-ish, my boyfriend, Ivan, called me from Singapore while I was asking things about car battery. Baru ngomong sebentar, dan tiba2: ZOOMP! Stomach cramp. I thought, I must've been eating like a goat that has not been fed for the past 2 years. Maklum, dari tanggal 21 December I was partying non-stop: Midodareni, my brother's birthday, Ijab Kabul, Reception, Christams Dinner, Christmas Lunch, my Birthday, cancer free celebration, New Year Eve, New Year brunch, New Year lunch, Cheese Nachos snack when Adi and I had when we watched Quickie Express (my cute brother had Pocky).. Mampus aja gak sih..??? Dikit dikit tapi membukit. Tapi while I had that cramp, I felt quilty a bit. I said to myself: Ya, Oroooooh... New Year's gift'nya mantep bener yak???
Jalanlah gue dari tempat beli aki, ke mobil. Akhirnya gue suruh supir gue yang nungguin, dan gue di mobil langsung telpon Ibu Bandar (my sister that is..) minta dianterin ke Medistra. She was panicked - hey, me, too! Untung jarak Blok-A ke Darmawangsa deket. Begitu supir masuk mobil, gue langsung minta dianterin ke rumah kakak gue toute de suite! Mana supir gue udah rada toku, nyupir juga 40 km/jam. Asli, gue udah gak tahan.

Sampe rumah kakak gue, my super cute nephew, Fox, menyambut gue dengan gembira alias minta jalan2. Biasalah, kalo gue sampe pasti dia nodong buat jalan2. Keliling komplek aja udah hepi joli dia. Jangankan keliling komplek, mobil gue keluarin garasi trus gue masukin garasi aja dia udah kesetanan. Yang penting sama tante'nya. But at that time, I just couldn't do anything. Face was pale as a cotton - atau tepatnya kayak orang abis liat pocong di depan mata. Kakak gue turun, dan langsung angkut gue ke Medistra. Kaki gue di mobil udah dipijitin sama nanny'nya ponakan gue. Fox bolak balik nanya gue "what happened, auntie Nina?", "Auntie Nina ouwie..?", "Auntie Nina ouwie, hospital, airport, Singapore..?" Sebenernya, what a relieve juga knowing when you just got hit with something and this little boy is next to you squeezing your hand. Kayaknya anak kecil aja ngerti that everything is going to be just fine.

Anyway, I couldn't do much in the car. I had breathing trouble as well just like when I had heartburn from eating 2 pans of Domino Pizza. I couldn't even answer Ivan's phone call, so I just gave my phone to my sister and let her tell him what's going on with me. He also couldn't believe it, just 15 minutes ago he called me and I was fine. Now, I was rushed to the hospital.

Lucunya, sampe di Medistra, the pain was slowly gone. Tinggal bekas sakitnya aja yang ada. Since I have a history of colon cancer, the doctor suggested me to have another CT Scan. I passed all the trouble of having the needle poked here and there, and I had to stay in the hospital for a day or two.

Ever since I was in the room, the put the sign PUASA for - according to them - monitor. Tapi udah sampe' malem tulisan PUASA tadi itu masih juga nempel. So, kepalaran lah si pasien Stephanie Widyani ini. Mulai gelisah nih.. Remote TV aja bisa gue makan. Akhirnya, jam 9-10'an gue boleh minum SETEGUK. Kampret! Tapi ya udahlah.. better than nothing. Akhirnya ditawarin makan juga sih, tapi gue cuma bisa makan yang lembut2 dan gue pilih oatmeal.
Selama puasa tadi, sebenernya kakak & oom gue udah dapet jawaban dari dokter regarding the new CT Scan. Kakak gue nan nekat mah bisa aja, kalo Medistra aja sih bisa diubek2 sama dia. And she told me that it's just from the food. Everything's going to be fine. From her eyes I could tell that she's lying. Dan setiap gue pelototin itu mata, mata dia gradually berubah jadi mata yang jujur. Damn it!
Akhirnya para pengunjung pasien si gile Stephanie pulang juga. Kamar udah kayak Casino. Maklum. New Year Spirit untuk berjudi masih nempel di pribadi pengunjung. Dasar Batak! Kagak tahan liat kartu dan duit nangkring. Give them beer or coffee jadilah Mickey Mouse Casino. Yang nemenin gue semalam: my handsome little brother. Suster2nya bolak balik aja ke kamar gue. Blagak aplusan lah.. ganti ini lah.. ngecek infus lah.. masa' gue jam 5 pagi dibangunin disuruh mandi juga biar mereka bisa lirik adek gue??? Ngebayang gak sih loooooo... Dalam hati gue: if only you all bitches knew.. Hehehehe..

Next morning, the doctor asked me to stay another day for further monitor. I was like: what..??? Do I really need to?
I was so eager to get out fo the hospital. My boyfriend even thought that the hospital was trying to make profit out of my sickness. Crap!
Jam 2'an, the doctor, my sister, and my brother in law came with the news. Adi had to get out from my room for awhile.
This is what the doctor told me:

"Okey. Tadi pagi waktu saya datang, saya bohong. Dari CT Scan yang paling baru, kita menemukan massa. Kita bisa predict kalau itu a new tumor growing tapi bukan di colon. Lokasinya ada dekat ovary. This has to be taken out immediately. Saran saya, karena dokter chemo kamu yang di singapore punya data lebih akurat, kamu ke singapore sekarang juga."

Ternyata, Ibu Bandar sudah bekerja secepat kilat. She actually found out the nite before and fax everything to my oncologist in Singapore.
I could get my butt out from the hospital and went home right after the doctor left.

So, we arrived in Spore on Friday by noon and went directly to the hospital (ya mampir hotel dulu lempar koper tanpa keluar dari taxi). Ivan was already in the hospital. Our appointment was at 1 PM.
Masuk ke ruang dokter (nunggu dulu sih.. diluar). The 3 of us sat there, dan dokternya mulai nanya "what's going on Stephanie?"
Hey, I wish I knew, dude. I gave a little flashback of what was going on. Kita bawa hasil CT Scan, dan dokter membandingkan dengan hasil CT Scan yang paling terakhir (October 29, 2007). Perbedaannya banyak sekali. Kita bolak balik nanya, does it have anything to do with activities, food, or what-so-ever? Jawabannya: TIDAK. Andaikata ada, ANDAIKATA, biasanya tumor tumbuh in 3 or more years. Tapi ini harus di remove as soon as possible.
In short, he was amazed. Nah, loh! Dokter aja bingung apalagi kita yak..?? Dan menurut dia, this is the first case in Singapore. Bloody.. what am I a famous sicko now??

Abis itu kita ke Colorectal Surgeon, atas saran dokter chemo gue. Dokternya ya agak2 culun, tapi jabatannya professor, bo! Head and Senior Consultant Division of Colorectal Surgery. Nothing can go wrong from the title. This time the doctor explained, in my opinion, very detail.

YES! The fucking tumor is on the ovary. Left side. Ganas apa tidak? Tidak tau. But this has to be removed ASAP.
Now, once he remove the tumor meaning he has to remove both ovaries. Which means I'll be in menopouse after the surgery, which means I CANNOT HAVE BABIES ANYMORE.
He gave me options of freezing my eggs so that I can use it in later time. In fact there'll be a doctor from Holland who.. ngapain ya dia..??? kok jadi lupa gini..? Gak bisa mikir tepatnya. Kalo gak salah dokter Holland ini punya metode baru untuk punya anak buat orang yang gak bisa punya anak lagi. Telurnya dipecah2, terus ntah diapain. Dokternya aja baru dateng besok (Tues., 8 Jan, '08) It's Singapore first break tghru - katanya. And this will be the first case in Singapore. Am I happy..?? 50-50. Tapi gue gak begitu mengharapkan banget. Let God decide. Say, gue pake juga akhirnya metode super canggih itu, tapi tetep aja kan gue gak tau hasilnya gimana. Buat mereka aja baru pertama kali, getoooh..

For all I know, I can't have babies anymore. Kandas sudah harapan untuk berkeluarga dan punya anak dari darah daging sendiri. Adoption is not an option for me, and don't you dare tell me that I can always adopt a baby. Berani2nya ngomong gitu, ovaries loe yang gue ambil and see how you go by that! Kalo loe cowok, titit loe yang gue potong. Hahahahaha..
At 30, I'm now slowing down of everything. Cari suami aja udah keburu males. Paling mentok gue dapet duda (again!) dengan anak 6 yang emaknya udah koit dan perlu emak baru.

Just like I told my boyfriend and my sister: at least now I can always cross out Pads and Pantyliners out of my grocery list, and can have sex without having to worry of getting pregnant and have a little bastard. Hehehehehe...

My period just ended yesterday. And that was the last menstruation I had in my life. As of Thursday, 10 Jan '08, after the surgery, I'll be experiencing what all 50-year old women experience: Menopause.

I'll be staying in Singapore for a month. Inggris gue bisa kacau begini caranya. This is my cell number in Singapore: +6594482822.
Cheer me up, send me lame jokes, we can even do video call..
I miss home already.. I want to be with my nephew and my super smart niece.. but I have to hold my tears back and be strong.

If I can beat that son-of-a-bitch called cancer, there's no reason for me to be unable to fight this satan.

Happy New Year, everybody.

Stephanie
Your crazy-nonstop talking-friend who cannot think straight anymore

Singapore Cancer Free Celebration!

2007-11-04T09:36:00.000+07:00

Let's Celebrate!!

My and my sis checked out from the hotel and went to our very good friend's restaurant where he works there as the Head Chef for a company called One Concepts. The restaurant he currently works is TBone - which stands for Tiong Baru One.

What did we do there?
1. Visit a good friend
2. Celebrate Cancer Free with a good friend

We've known him for ages I guess. Oh, by the way, his name is Permana - we call him Nanang. And he's a good cook! Great, malah..
God knows how he got that sense of cooking. I wish I could be like him - have a good sense of cooking. Even sometimes I have to text him all the way to New Zealand just to ask whether a baking soda is the same as baking powder. Stupid me, even if he say that it's different and put poison instead I probably might do it.

How he ends up in Singapore? Good question..
He got an offer while he was still in NZ. We talked about it over the Messenger, and I think I managed to persuade him to move to Singapore. C'mon, it's way much closer to home. Besides, he can go back and forth Singapore-Jakarta to visit the family. And it's true. Last Lebaran, he went back to Jakarta to be with his family. And he must be very happy. His family must be happy. I can't imagine him in NZ celebrating Lebaran. Ugh..

So, there at TBone he got us 1 hell a big steak. If I clearly remember, he said it was only 700 grams - which we all can share eating. T-Bone steak marinated with .. pepper?? God knows.. With mushroom sauce on the side. Served with salad that I couldn't eat (my sister ate it), and wedges (love this one!). Hey, it's a celebration. I know I should not be eating that much of food. So, I made a promise to myself: No beef until January!

Seriously, we ate too much that day. After we finished eating, he then told us that the steak was actually 1 kg!!
For God sake, man!! What are you trying to do, kill me????

But it was really good.

Too bad we couldn't stay longer. We've got other things to do before we leave Singapore.

But for sure, in 10 years, he'll make it big as Chef Nanang or Chef Permana.
TV shows, cooking books, biography, maybe even his own brand.
You'll never know.

Congratulation, Mas Nanang!

We're so damn proud of you..

8th CHEMO - At Last!

2007-10-30T11:57:00.000+07:00

FINALLY!

My LAST CHEMO!!

I left the hotel at 8:00 for my 8:50 PT Scan. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a cab right away. Business people were lining up. So, gotta beeeeeee patient a tiny bit. When I finally got a cab, told the driver to speed up a bit. Well, they don't drive like the way I drive. Singapore always has rules for this and that including speed limit. But it was a rush hour so not much can do there lah! It was almost 8:50 when I got in the cab and Ivan was in the hospital already waiting for me. He's an on-time baby. God knows how many times he checked on me just to make sure I was in the bloody cab. Of course I was late when I got there and he was in the lobby with his laptop browsing I dunno what. Gave him a good morning kiss on the head, left him there again, and ran straight to the Imaging Center.

First thing to do in the hospital was to get the CT Scan done. I'd been fasting since 6:30 in the morning, and felt so hungry and thirsty by the time I arrived at the hospital. Believe me, even my boyfriend's thumb looked so yummy. After I registered at the Imaging Center, they gave me this yellow colored drink. The nurses said that it wasn't suppose to taste good. Hell with it! I was thirsty and according to thirsty Stephanie: GOOD!
If I thought about it over again, it was actually taste like a stale Lemon Juice. YUCK!
So, drank that 09:30. Enjoy the drink? Gila apa..???? Blagak enjoy aja dech. My Ivan aja yang kept asking: how's it, sayang..? enak, sayang..? Dalam hati gue: abis ini loe yang gue seret buat chemo. Bolak balik nanya lagi..

While waiting for the next drink at 09:50, I went up to the 8th floor to get the FULL blood test. First torture of poking the needles begun. CRAP! These people don't know how to find my veins. Sure, they kept telling me: oooh, you have such fine veins.. it's a princess (whatever lah!) Tapping my arms just to get the veins, it's just soooo.. blah.
It's very different than Indonesia. The nurses in Indonesia are able to to find my veins in a second, and... it doesn't hurt.
Tapi gak segitu kerasa kali ini. Mungkin karena around me there were Ivan and my sis. Yeah, as usual, my sis ya sibuk sendiri. Sibuk ambil photo sana sini. Terutama ambil foto gue pas lagi disuntik. Dan selalu nge'guyon gak jelas. Meanwhile, Ivan mukanya sudah memelas gak tega liat gue ditusuk2. Tapi apa dikata, blood test must go on.

After the blood test - and still couldn't eat yet, I went back down to the Imaging Center to get the CT Scan. Drank the last gulp of the pee-like drink, changed and used the robe, and wait there along with the Singaporean grandmas and grandpas. Begitu dipanggil.. jantung gue rasanya dah mau copot. I didn't remember that they were going to INJECT something again to my hand. Duh! How can I forgot. I did this on my first chemo. And now I had to do it again. Ya uwes. Pasrah aja dah loe.
Tusuk lagi.. tusuk lagi.. Enakan ditusuk di tempat lain kali yah daripada ditusuk di tangan pake jarum.. HAHAHAHAHAHA..
Tangan gue rasanya sakiiiiiiit banget waktu dimasukin cairan buat highlight seluruh badan gue. What worse was that they were going to put some liquid into my anus to highlight the pelvis. Bayangkan! ada botol yang harus dimasukin ke pantat gue. Gila, bo!!! Anal sex aja gue tolak mentah2, itu lagi.. Go to hell, dude!! Tapi setelah tawar menawar, akhirnya gak jadi juga.
PHEW!
Kalo sampe kejadian mati lah gue.. Gak tau lagi bakal jadi apaan gue. Jalannya dah pengkor kali..

Anyway, done with CT Scan. I could finally eat!
Damn, I was so hungry. I ate roast hainamese chicken rice, Ivan ate nasi Padang, and my sis ate Yong Tau Foo. Lunch was good, as well as the talk. Disini gue bener2 bisa liat that they, Ivan and my sis, really care for me. Mereka selalu memastikan that I got enough nutrients. Ntah mereka maksa apa gimana tapi gue dipaksa makan buah mulu. Telen aja deh. Dari pada rame..

To kill the time till 2 PM, me and Ivan sat down on the sofa at the lobby. Cuddle up in public, make everybody jealous (gak penting deh!), relax.. serasa dunia milik kita berdua yang lain cuma numpang. Ahhahahahahahaha.. Sampe TENG! dah waktunya naik - belum banget sih.. tapi Ivan gak mau telat aja. Duile, bo! dari lobby ke lantai 8 doang gitu.. Again, ngikut aja dech. BTW, yang di chemo gue kenapa yang semangat dia yah..? *garuk garuk*

Akhirnya kita ketemu sang dokter juga. Setelah di tensi.. cek sana sini.. Baru dech masuk dipanggil dokter.
Dokternya yaaaa.. lumayan lah. Buat ukuran orang Singapore mungkin he's quiet a catch. Hehehehe.. Tapiiiiii.. asal pitaknya ditutupin. Every time my sister and I went to his practice room, he looks happy. Ada hiburan gretong kali yeh.. Si mbak lagi, wuiiiih.. kalo nganterin gue ke dokter atribut dandan dan gaya gak pernah lepas. Kadang pake belahan dada yang ampun ampun bikin dokter pusing (tukang taxi aja puyeng liatnya..). Meanwhile, gue ala kadarnya tapi masih tetep oke lah (gak mau kalah bener dah gue..) Hihihihi...Dasarnya aja gue gak mau repot. Abis itu tangan kebas, bo. Have mercy, dech..

So, what did the doctor said..? *dug.. dug.. dug..*
He said that that everything was good!
From the scan, it shows no spread of of cancer cells.
EVERYTHING IS FINE!

yeeeeeeeehhaaaaaa...!!!!

I couldn’t be happier.
Especially my sister – Ibu Bandar hehehehe.
Well, Ivan didn’t hear the whole thing since he was outside waiting. I think he just couldn’t bear listen to whatever the doctor would say about me.
I couldn’t even picture how happy I was. Happy but still confuse: is that it??
I realized that the label Stage 3 Colon Cancer will always be with me for the rest of my life. Even though I’m free, but it doesn’t mean that I’m completely free. It’s a heditary disease, so I better watch out. It is now the part that I really have to pay attention to everything I do.

BTW, I don’t know when my sister find the time to send SMS to everybody in her phone book about this good news. But this is what she sent:

We thank God 4 our Good News.
Final CT Scan of Stephanie showed NO evidence of cancer spreading J
Penyebaran sel2 kanker berhasil diSTOP.
Bersyukur, hari ini Chemoteraphy yang terakhir.
Thanks untuk doa yang diberikan.

Now, chemo time!
Ivan was next to me holding my hand when the nurses were trying to find my vein. I was squeezing his hand so hard that he couldn’t stand it anymore and called my sis to take his place. Hahahahaha.. I just don’t understand why the nurses started with my arm instead of my hand. It was supposed to start with my hand first, then if they still cannot find it they should go up to my arm and so on. Ah, they know better.. what do I know except screaming my heart out?

After the needle went in, Ivan has the guts to came back to the chemo booth.

There we sat for about 2 hours long. Just me & Ivan. Waiting for the chemo infusion to finish. He was surprise to see how strong I was (according to him) that I didn’t scream and was able to pull myself together. He said that I was strong. Really? I didn’t realize that.
It was nice to be accompanied by someone you love during that painful time.
Numbness on my left hand started just 30 minutes before the chemo was done. And it’s time to take the needle out. Phew!
Wait.
No “phew”.
It was AARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH….! Breath in, breath out.. Hold your breath..
Even Ivan had to hug me from the side, closed my eyes and didn’t let me see the whole thing until the needle was out. And finally it was out. And by 6 PM we were out of the hospital, heading to the Grand Hyatt by cab. My sister dropped us at the looby, and she went straight to the mall did some shopping.

Ivan & I just relaxed for awhile in the room. Hey, couldn’t do much here. Left still numb and in pain. So, we just wait in the room till we get hungry. Take some pics just like banci foto getoooooh…

Please, deh.. nothing to do here for us.

No matter how tired I was.. I was happy with the last chemo. Surrounded by the people you love and have the Good News.

I survive cancer!

Leaving for last chemo

2007-10-28T09:13:00.000+07:00

Sunday morning I left Jakarta for my last chemo.
Excited? I dunno for sure.
I was excited to see my boyfriend and my good friend - oh, going to Singapore is now so much fun!
So, arrived there in the afternoon. Went here and there with my sister while waiting for those two people done working.

In the evening, my boyfriend got off from work and we met in CK Tang. Well, I left my sister at Zara and let her have fun with all the shopping - meanwhile my friend Nanang was still busy somewhere in the kitchen. So, continue with my bf. We went to Dome at Shaw. A cup of coffee for him, and a cup of weird taste tea for me. Ah, well..

Then my sister and Nanang came along. Good chat and laugh at Dome till we all got hungry. As usual, Nanang came up with the idea of having dinner at the Marina.

Nanang has good taste in choosing food. Yeah, no wonder. He's a chef of course! He knows what he's doing. We had crab, fried mantau, yummy kailan (just for me!), steamed fish (ordered especially for me, again). Goodness, I don't even remember what we ordered. I could only remember that Ivan was looking at me all the time because I ate the veggies like a hungry dragon - yes, darling, it's me who ate all the greens!

Hang out with the people you love with was so much fun. Really!
I'd rather have them around me when I have my chemo instead of my mum. Not that I don't love her, but I'd rather have people who don't talk much during my chemo (ie: cheer me up).

*sigh*
Let the last torture of chemo ends tomorrow..

St. Peregrine - patron of cancer patients

2007-10-26T13:11:00.000+07:00

I recently do the novena prayer for my cancer to this saint whose name is Peregrine. He's a patron of cancer patients.
I found out about him when I went through my dad's drawer. So I guess my dad also did the novena to St. Peregrine.

Here's an outline about St. Peregrine, which I took from Catholic Online.

Peregrine Laziosi was born of a wealthy family at Forli, Italy, in 1260. As a youth he was active in politics as a member of the anti-papal party. During one uprising, which the Pope sent St. Philip Benizi to mediate, Philip was struck in the face by Peregrine. When Philip offered the other cheek, Peregrine was so overcome that he repented and converted to Catholicism. Following the instructions of the Virgin Mary received in a vision, Peregrine went to Siena and joined the Servites. It is believed that he never allowed himself to sit down for thirty years, while as far as possible, observing silence and solitude. Sometime later, Peregrine was sent to Forli to found a new house of the Servite Order. An ideal priest, he had a reputation for fervent preaching and being a good confessor. When he was afflicted with cancer of the foot and amputation had been decided upon, he spent the night before the operation, in prayer. The following morning he was completely cured. This miracle caused his reputation to become widespread. He died in 1345 at the age of eighty-five, and he was canonized by Pope Benedict XIII in 1726. St. Peregrine, like St. Paul, was in open defiance of the Church as a youth. Once given the grace of conversion he became one of the great saints of his time. His great fervor and qualities as a confessor brought many back to the true Faith. Afflicted with cancer, Peregrine turned to God and was richly rewarded for his Faith, enabling him over many years to lead others to the truth. He is the patron of cancer patients.

Wish me luck for the Last Chemo

2007-10-26T12:43:00.000+07:00

Wish me luck y'all!
On Monday I'll be getting my last chemotherapy.

This time I'll be staying in S'pore a liiiiiiiitle bit longer - yeah, that means I'll be taking 2 days off from work (yippiiiiie). Be leaving Jakarta on Sunday morning with my sister ONLY.
My appointment with the doc is actually on Monday, but in the morning.
The doc said that I'll have to take the full blood test and the CT Scan there - since it's my last treatment.
Damn it! Another blood test. Another poking here and there on my hand. Now some of my fingers are numb, poking here and there just gonna make it worse. *sigh*
And the CT scan.. nooooo!
The CT Scan itself doesn't hurt a bit. It's just scanning my body. That's all. What I cannot stand is the injection to highlight whatever in my body for scanning.
Ugh, let that be my joy of pain on Monday.

Even though I'm scared to face this last chemo, somewhere in my heart I feel a bit relief. Perhaps it's the fact that my friend (or TTMB - teman tapi mesra banget. Oh, please dech.. hare geneee..), the so-called boyfriend (my sister said: "he's the complete reincarnation of your husband!") who's willing to take a day off from his work to take me to the hospital and reschedule all his work for Tuesday as well, and last: my sister..they'll be around me during my last chemo.

But even though they're there for me, deep deep deep inside I'm still scared to face this last chemo:
What else the doc's going to say?
Is my cancer spreading?
Do I need to go through another 8 set of chemo again (hopefully, not!)?
I'm so hoping that this son-of-a-bitch cancer is not spreading.

Yes, I haven't been a good girl lately.
For the love of food..
Can't really pull myself together when it comes to food.
My vegetables and fruit intake is quiet low - according to my boyfriend, and I hate to say that he's right.
Not only that, he even noticed that my water intake is somehow not enough - again, I can really punch him for being right all the time.
Well, this is more like a food confession from me: I even ate my niece KFC leftover. Even though it's just the bones I crunch, it's not like I'm inhaling the whole chicken. I also still eat some fried food - last week I found Tempe Goreng that my niece's nanny made at my sister's house. Ooooh.. it's heaven! Not too crunchy, too. Enak, booooooo.... I don't know what else I've been eating since May. I realize that my gaining weight now is supposed to be questioned: have I been eating healthy food or whatever food? Some people are just happy to see me in my doesn't-look-sick shape. Yeah, with 60 kgs who would think that I've got cancer.

Besides from these things that keep haunting me at night, I'm still grateful that I'm still able to do lots of things that I thought I won't be able to do like girls night out, work till late night, hangout with my friends, do the Body Combat exercise, bake cookies and lick the dough straight from the bowl.

I'm even grateful to see the fact that people around me are still very supportive and fussy when it comes to food (can't eat that, Steph.. or that's spicy, Steph.. or sometimes even nastier: they (or you, even, again..) take my plate away and start measuring how much I can eat.) Whatever banget gak seeeeeh... but it does something good for me - Thanks!

Tapi ya sudah.. Yang terjadi ya terjadilah..
I just keep my fingers crossed till Monday. Wish me luck! Should unexpected things happen to me, you'll be hearing it from my sister. Hehehehe..

Last, thanks for being around and always be there for me..

Let you know more with my progress after chemo.. Let's hope it's a good news.

2 more to go

2007-10-03T21:40:00.000+07:00

Monday the 8th, 2007 will be my 7th chemo.
That's actually 1 more chemo to go - minus the one next week.

What do I feel now?
A bit numbness at the edge of my tounge (still).
Dryer skin on the tip toes and around the cuticles
Fingers a bit numb. Not so much.. but I don't think I could stand the AC anymore.
I've been getting more cramps on my claves while I sleep at night - there was a night when I had to go through calves cramp on both legs. Jesus Christ! I'd rather die..

I've noticed that I haven't been eating good food (healthy) lately. Need more veggies and fruits. That's a hard committment to make.

At this point, I've reached my weakness in emotion. I'm so damn scared that I won't get the best result as I (and my family and friends) hope. There are moments when I keep thinking: Would I make it through? Would I have to get another set of this damn chemoteraphy? Would I be able to live for another year or longer?

Yes. I'm scared as hell.
The only thing that I can think of is that I have to live .. for my family.
Realizing that my family has sacrfice lots of things - especially my sister, is what motivated me most to live. Of course, besides my dream: my own damn family.

A promise I gotta make to my father minutes before he died: I'll take care of the family with all my strength and with whatever God give me, and, yes, I can take care of myself.
I guess that, too, motivates me, to live.

I'm so scared at this moment.. I just wish I could pass through this tiring moments of beating cancer and be a cancer survivor.

2 more chemo to go.. with lots of fear..

But at least my trip to Singapore for chemo isn't boring as it used to... A good friend and a love one is waiting.. :)

Fight the damn cancer..

2007-09-26T14:20:00.000+07:00

It is actually easy to fight for cancer. Not hard at all. Really!
What's hard is the temptation.

We know already that there are 3 obvious risk factors for getting colorectal cancer which includes:
1. Age
2. Family Medical History
3. Your own medical history

However, there are other risk factors that we know already but often ignored. Start with the easy one..

1. Food - yes, baby.. FOOD! Alert: your chances of getting colon cancer is higher if your diet is high in calories, protein, fat (animal fat that is) and low in calcium. How about those protein powder and the rest..? Let's give it a rest, eh? Unless if you're ready to have bumps on your colon.

2. Smoke. Quit now before you regret it. I regret I didn't quit last year. I quit on February 28, 2007. Right on Ash Wednesday. Well, did not exactly quit. More like a break (fasting) from cigarettes for 40 days (until Easter) because of some religious reason. During the break I did smoke..4 times I guess, but after that I haven't smoked again. Can you call it quit? Yeah.. I quit. I quit even before I was diagnosed with Colon Cancer stage 3. But studies shows that smokers have greater chance of getting colorectal cancer.

3. Exercise. Hey, exercise is good you know.. do it now! Once you get the disease you'd need more time for your body (i.e. not too tired). Do whatever exercise you like, but start NOW. I love Body Combat and Tae Bo and I used to do it 3 to 4 times a week. Now that I need more time for my body, I need to reduce those exercise. Of course I'm still allowed to do exercise, but not as much as before.

4. Your weight. We watch our weight from time to time. Most of the time we're scared of gaining even an ounce. And true, if you're overweight you're most likely to get colorectal cancer. Before we believed that if we're overweight we would likely to get heart disease because of the fats that cover the heart. Well, not anymore. It's either you get both or one of them. But don't you just love it if you're on the right proportion? Having extra fat in the waist area is a greater risk than having extra fat in the hips or thighs.

5. Alcohol. Hey.. do I need to give comments on this one, too..??

Have a good day everybody.. I'm going on vacation!

How you doin..?

2007-09-22T16:12:00.000+07:00

Up to this point of my life I feel that I'm so damn lucky to stay alive.
My treatment does good thing for me. What I still can't believe is just too good to be true.
Anyway.. I was just a bit bored in the office. Not bored to be exact, but my runny nose kept me from doing things and all I've been doing since the morning was actually listening to my iPod and read through some articles about the disease that I'm having now.

Remember that at the beginning (if you really pay attention to my blog that is) my brother was saying something about hereditary disease? Familial Adenomatous Polyposis (FAP)? Yeah, it's still colon cancer but the FAP one..
Now I just found this articles from Cancer Consultants. Hope it gives you (or whoever who has the same disease like me) clearer view of what's going on..

Familial adenomatous polyposis (FAP)
Familial adenomatous polyposis (FAP) is a rare genetic syndrome that causes hundreds of adenomatous polyps to form in the colon or rectum. Most cases of FAP are the result of mutations of the APC gene. Individuals who inherit an APC mutation are at a high risk of developing colonic adenomas and eventually colorectal cancer. Studies show that 90% of people with FAP will develop adenomas and without interventions, most people with this syndrome will develop colorectal cancer. Attenuated FAP (AFAP) is a genetic syndrome similar to FAP in which fewer than 100 polyps develop in the colon or rectum. Individuals with AFAP often have family members who have FAP. AFAP is equally as rare as FAP.

Most cases of FAP and some cases of AFAP are the result of mutations of the APC gene. Individuals who inherit an APC mutation are at a high risk for developing polyps and eventually colorectal cancer. Nearly 100% of individuals who are APC gene mutation-positive will develop colon adenomas. APC gene testing is now commercially available and the results, whether positive or negative, can assist individuals in their choices regarding future medical care.

Individuals at risk for FAP and AFAP can benefit from presymptomatic genetic testing. Both positive and negative test results can impact future medical choices and the frequency of screening procedures. A positive test result indicates that an individual has a known mutation that causes FAP or AFAP. Nearly 100% of individuals with this mutation will develop adenomas; therefore, those who test positive may use this information to increase the frequency of their screening procedures. A negative test result does not necessarily indicate freedom from risk. Individuals with negative test results may not need to undergo screening as frequently as those who test positive; however, these individuals need to be aware that they could still develop colorectal cancer, as the majority of cases are not the result of genetic conditions.

More significant than the test results is the course of action that follows. Again, the main reason for undergoing predictive genetic testing is the potential opportunity to take preventive measures against developing colorectal cancer. Many individuals who know that they are at an increased risk of developing colorectal cancer can choose to be proactive in their health maintenance and their utilization of screening procedures for early detection. While they may not always be able to prevent cancer from developing, they may be able to catch it early when it is most treatable.

Individuals with FAP and AFAP need to undergo frequent screening for polyps by sigmoidoscopy, or colonoscopy. Usually, screening in individuals with FAP or AFAP begins in the early teens. Historically once an individual with FAP or AFAP manifested polyposis, the only effective management strategy was colectomy (removal of the colon). In 2000, the Food and Drug Administration approved Celecoxib, previously approved for the treatment of individuals with arthritis, to be used in conjunction with the usual therapy for individuals with FAP. Celecoxib has been reported to reduce the number of colon polyps that develop in individuals with FAP, thus significantly reducing their risk for developing colorectal cancer. Patients should be seen in a medical center by an expert in FAP and AFAP to best understand their options.

Lesser White Blood Cells

2007-08-16T19:24:00.000+07:00

When I had my 4th chemo a month ago, the doctor told me that my White Blood Cell count was too low. Very low. That low that I had to take extra medication to make my white blood cell a bit higher. The doctor supplied me with 5 injection that I had to do it on my own after I finish with the Xeloda pills. The name of that medication is NEUPOGEN. This thing was injection in 5 different days and in 5 different place of the fatty tissue of my tummy, arm, and leg.

Of course this has side effect. No, duh! all medication have side effects. As for me, the obvious side effect is Headache. I also felt some chills, tho. I thought my headache came from the stress I've had recently. Hey, maybe that one, too. Actually, it really breaks my heart that I want to cry. But leave it. What comes around, goes around. Believe me.
What the hell am I talking about?? Back to Neupogen..

Here's a bit about White blood cells..

White blood cell is part of our immune system and fight infections. So, when the white blood cells is low, I can easily get infections. And what surprise me more is that it is normal because after each chemoteraphy, the white blood cells count begins to fall. When the white blood cells count fall, I could easily feel tired - which I hardly feel it. Some people also say they feel depressed at this time - and this happened to me, which I thought broken heart has something to do with it.

I got some hints to improve my low blood cells:
1. Keep as clean as you can
2. Eat healthy diet - lots of fruits, juice, especially cherry - it's good to improve the low blood cells
3. Make sure any cooked food is properly to kill off bacteria
4. Avoid injury
5. Rest when you feel tired
6. Avoid doing too much acitivity in the middle of each course of chemotherapy, as this is when your blood counts will be lowest and you may be feeling washed out.
7. Be happy!

Confused? Me, too.. :)

Friday Night Fever

2007-08-11T14:42:00.000+07:00

Here we go again..
One crazy nite spent with the people I love dearly..
I accompanied my brother to his work for doing some project with a bank.
He needed my beautiful voice to fill in for the whatever show.

Seemed we had a good time - at least I think I had a good time.
Look at us in the picture! We seemed to have fun

Enjoy the picture..

How about Saturday nite..? I'm going to spend it with my friends.. Stay tuned for more crazy pictures

By the way, I don't look like I have a stage 3 cancer, do I?

God loves me, then.. :)

Election Day & Baking Day

2007-08-08T17:12:00.000+07:00

It's Election Day today in Jakarta where we have to choose a new governor. We have a 1 day holiday for this election day. So, after we elect some booth provided near our house we just got nothing to do. As for me, I've planned this day as a Baking Day since Monday when I found out that today is a holiday.

My 9-year old niece helped me with mixing and messing up the kitchen. She just can't see me baked only the Fudge Brownie, so she kept telling me to bake Caramel Chocolate Chip Cookies. So, I baked both. Tiring, though, but it was good. I had a good time, everybody happy. The cookies are almost gone before it goes to the cookie jar. Very yummy.

I consider myself as a lucky person. I'm lucky that I have the ability to cook. I enjoy cooking.. baking..
What to cook next? Pasta! Looooove pasta.
I'll include some yummy pasta recipe so you can enjoy it..

Any idea what kind of pasta I should try..?
Glad to hear some input..

3 More Chemo To Go..

2007-08-04T18:06:00.000+07:00

It's been 4 months since my first chemo, and on August I'll be getting my 5th chemo.
In Bahasa we'd say: Gak Kerasa (Can hardly feel it)
Yes, I could hardly feel it. The nausea was quickly gone as well. Except the numbness on my hand, this time it took about a week for it to be gone. Hugh!

After the 3rd chemo, I've been driving everywhere. Work.. party.. shopping.. or just killing time round around Jakarta.
I was back with my overly active life. Hahahaahhahahaa... And from that time, nobody can stop me. Including my mom, isn't that amazing..???

But really, my condition is not bad at all. No hair loss, too. I hardly feel tired. I just do whatever I normally do.

Nothing to tell much, though. Except that now I'm working at different school - BTW, I just resigned about a month ago, and in less then a week I gotta phone call from other school and they wanted me to be their librarian. So, this summer I only had a week of vacation. *sigh*
Salary wise, well.. it's much lower than my previous school. But I can cope with it. I still have my piano students and I still make my millions.. Hahahahahaaha...

Another good news is that my handsome brother is finally home. Home is now so much different with him around. Sometimes I feel happy to have a "personal driver" around. He'd drive whenever I tell him to. Hahahaha.. What's a brother for, heh??

Anyway, nothing much change during my chemo. This magic drug really works on me very well that I don't feel a thing. Well, except every first three days after the Oxaliplatin is injected.

With the cancer I have, I could only ask God for cure. But then nobody's perfect. Just like anyone else, I ask for something else. A complete family of my own - apart from the family I have now. Hey, you know what I mean. Just be real. I need to settle down, too, you know.

Ah, well.. let you know with more news from me..

BTW, here are some pictures taken after the 4th chemo. Right hand was still numb, but there's no day without style and being chic! Hey, you may have stage 3 cancer, but you still gotta look good..! First picture is my brother - handsome, heh? He just got braces on as well. Second pic is of course, me! Third pic is me and my pretty cousin - I wouldn't even call her my cousin, she's my baby sister!. The last one was with my friends from Syracuse University.

2nd Chemo

2007-06-07T16:51:00.000+07:00

I survived the 1st chemo!
Now I just passed the 1st week of the 2nd chemo.
Not bad at all..

As soon as the Oxaliplatin infusion was done, my hands was a bit numb. I thought my hands were paralyzed. So, I put my hands under the warm water, and it turns out that it's just the little side effect of the chemo. I was ready to go home - well, at that time to the hotel, that is.

The nausea feeling was there and it was pretty bad. I couldn't even swallow anything except water. Just like the first chemo, all fluids tasted cold on my tounge. I remembered back to the first chemo, the nausea lasted for 3 days. The whole nausea thing was over by Monday night!
Phew!!
Finally, I could swalllow that meatball soup.

Ah well.. Back to work..

-stephanie-

New Haircut!

2007-05-26T18:09:00.000+07:00

Just before I'm getting my second chemo next week (Friday, 1st June 2007), I'm getting a new haircut - thanks to my sister (again) for treating (again) this fancy haircut.

Before I went to the hair salon, I was thinking of getting my hair really really short! Like Demi Moore in Ghost, not like Dudley Moore in Foul Play :D
But then, the stylist, which happen to be the owner of the hair salon, did not recommend that such short hair since he didn't want me to get a shock of my life. I thought,'what the f*$k?? It's my hair..!'I'm the one who should be in shock later if I go bald. Imagine if one day I brush my hair and all of a sudden my hair fall out. Then the stylist told me one thing that I didn't think of: ENJOY YOUR HAIR!

Why should you cut your hair really short like you're sure that you're going to go bald tomorrow?
Why not enjoy what you have now: Full Hair - Hey, you're just on your 1st chemo. So, take it easy..!

And all that.. I didn't think of. So, I said "Go ahead. Do whatever you want to my hair, but make that quick" As if he's listening to me at that time. What I thought it would take around 30 minutes to get a haircut, it ended up 3.5 hours! He used something to straighten my bang (I usually have a "crown" along with my bang.). He didn't cut my hair too short, but he make it a bit lighter. But all that waiting for 3.5 hours was worth it!

-Stephanie-

Me & My friends

2007-05-25T21:49:00.000+07:00

Just this Friday, May 25th, my friends came to my house to hang out.
That was fun.. lots of gossiping.. eating pizza..
They're my friends from my previous school - not that I'm still going to school, helooow..

Nothing much we talked about, tho.. But when we're together we feel like sisters, if not we could punch one another.. hahahahaha. But we can't just get enough of talking about our bosses.

So, there's food, cable TV that people hardly pay attention to, and gossip here and there with every personality complete in our friendship.. We've got the one who has a particular leisure activity of sending dirty emails, one who like to comment on everything (basically, we comment on everything), one who's always hungry all the time, one who cannot leave home without her hair rollers, one who's trying so hard to be funny.. Well, basically, everything!

What's the most important thing here is that they (or better say "we") always be there for one another - especially when it comes to FOOD!

There's not much I can say about them, except that I'm very greatful that I know them and they've always been very supportive to me at this moment of my life. In sickness and health, good times bad times, thick and thin.. No matter what happen, we always have things to laugh on even when we're at our lowest part in our life..

Here are the pictures we just took on Friday .. Some of them are not there.. next time I'll get the full picture with the whole gang!

- stephanie-

A Bit About XELOX

2007-05-17T17:00:00.000+07:00

Here’s a bit about my chemo using XELOX.. Always something new for you and me, of course..

XELOX is a kind of new chemotherapy thing (Well, not so new I guess. I heard it’s been around for the past 2 years.). It is actually a combination of Xeloda + Oxaliplatin. Hint hint! That’s where they get the name.

Using this chemo combination means less going to hospital because with XELOX patients are getting infusion of Oxaliplatin for 2 hours and the patients can go home and take the oral Xeloda pill for 14 days (in my case). Isn’t that convenient? What more is that they say that this treatment is pretty good to handle metastatic colorectal cancer – like what I have now! WOW.. Yippiiiiieeeee…

Before I started using this treatment, the doctor told me not to take or drink anything cold as I may experience tingling and numbness in the palms of my hands or my feet. He said something about hand and foot syndrome, so I guess that’s what they are. He also told me that I might have difficulties in playing piano while on this treatment since my fingers would all be numb. Was I going to cry? Yes! I was devastated. Playing piano is my way of having fun and my source of living. What do I do about it? FIGHT! Practice practice practice! I don’t wait until the numbness comes to start practicing and exercising my fingers on the piano even though I feel easily tired when sitting in front of my piano. Just play as usual. I haven’t felt the numbness, yet, and this is my 6th day on Xelox already. So, I hope it’s a good sign.
As for tingling, well, I already had that on my first 2-day of treatment but then it disappeared. So, I guess these were just temporary – or probably I should not experience this at all. The first time I had this when I just had my Oxaliplatin infused. I took a first drink of mineral water just outside the hospital. The water was at room temperature, but when I took a sip my mouth ... brrrrr… that’s what tingling feels like. No wonder the doctor told me not to drink anything cold. I could already feel it in my mouth, imagine that in your body! But that’s not only in my mouth, apparently, but also in other part of my body such as the vagina. Well, kind of embarrassing to tell. But it’s the truth. After I pee in the airport’s toilet, as usual I had to clean up. With just toilet paper was not enough. Pretty disgusting, I have to say. So, I took my drink, which I just bought from the sushi bar at the airport, and started to clean up when all of a sudden my vagina start to feel tingling as I begun to clean up. It’s like I was just pouring cold water from Antarctica down to my vagina!! Ugh… So bad experience.

I started to take Xeloda at home. The side effect couldn’t be seen until the next day, but the nurses at the hospital warned me that I’d have diarrhoea, dizzy. I’d also experience nausea and vomiting. Before I left the hospital, they also gave me 2 kinds of medicines just in case I have nausea and vomiting, and diarrhoea. I did experience this at home couple hours after I took my first Xeloda. I even lost appetite. Whenever I see food I just want to vomit. Luckily, I have not vomited yet. With me, they’re gone as I reached my 6th day taking Xeloda. What’s still there is the lost appetite, but whenever I feel hungry I try to eat as much as I can even though it’s just a bit or two.

Well, this is just my experience taking Xeloda.
If you’re interested – and ONLY if you’re interested - to know more about this Xeloda pill I’m taking, go to www.edrugsearh.com drug information: Xeloda

-stephanie-

Conquering Colon Cancer

2007-05-15T04:06:00.000+07:00

A segment from CBS NEWS about Colon Cancer.

My Sister's First (of 8 total) Chemo Experience

2007-05-15T04:03:00.000+07:00

So, here I am with 7 more chemo to go.. or 8?

We (me, my sis, and my brother in law) went to 2 oncologists on the first day.
Some of you might be wondering 'what the hell is oncologist??'
Well, get the dictionary and find it! :D

First doctor was from The Gleneagles Hospital (same hospital when my dad got his chemo 3 years sgo, just different doctor) suggested the Folfox. And if I'm not mistaken, he also suggested Xelox but I can't quiet remember since my mind was on this thing the doctor said that it's going to be put/planted in to my chest and that I'd have to go under mini surgery.
Damn!
I couldn't even think straight anymore. So, whether the doctor said something about Xelox or not my mind was somewhere nowhere and all I could hear from the him was bla.. bla.. bla.. bla.. bla..
All I could think at that time was, how mini the surgery could be if he'sgoing to plant that shit into my chest?? Well, it's not like I haven't seen one. I remember my Dad had it 3 years ago when he was under chemo. But let that be his problem and incovenience hehehehehehe.. I reallly don't want to go through that so-called mini operation and have that incovenient thing inside my chest, especially with the fact that I just had a pretty big surgery a month ago and another fact that in that mini surgery they were only gave me local anaesthesia.
Hell with it!
I need drug, man!

Now, you're probably wondering what are Folfox and Xelox?
Well, they're type of chemo. See my blog forfurther info - that's if I'm (or my bro or sis..whoever) done writing.

On the same day in the afternoon, we went to National University Hospital. Went to see the doctor (again),told the same story about me (again), and the next plan (again). But with this one, they took my bloodtest.
AAAARRRRRGGGHH...!!! Mati lah gue.. matiiiii..
My inner vein is very hard to find and this means PAIN!
They poked the needle for 2 times! They found it at first, but once the needle went in .. my veins were running and the nurse lost them. Second try with 2 nurses holding and tapping my arms. Aduuuuuuuh... that needle was in already and they lost them again! That's starting to get a bit pain in the ass. Last try with 3 nurses holding me, but before they poked the needle they gave me warm Milo so that my veins can be seen asily (aaaaah.. maca' ciiiih..???).
So there you go.. me screaming like I don't know what.
Inhale exhaleinhale exhale like I was going to give birth plus answering the phone call that's been ringing for the whole 30 minutes in the lab. Short torture of taking blood test was done. We should come back to the NUH to see the oncologist and to have a CT Scan the next day.

The next day before we went back to the NUH, we went to National Cancer Center (NCC). For some reason, we already have this appointment made before we left JKT. The NCC itself .. well, okey.. lots of cancer patience. Masya Allah! Iyalaaaah.. gimana coba..?? namanya jgua National Cancer Center! Lo liat orang sakit gigi semua apa ceritanya coba..???
Kurang begitu "kena" di hati gue.
Kiri kanan kulihat saja.. banyak pasien kanker'aaaaaan (nyanyinya harus pake gaya Naik2 Ke Puncak Gunung). Yang lebih gak mengesankan lagi, waktu gue intip dokternya (associate doctor tepatnya..gak penting banget gak seeeeeeh!) CULUN, bo! Ampun culun banget!!
Gue intip dia lagi baca riwayat pasien aja tangannya sambil garuk2. Garuk2 kegatelan sama garuk2 bingung kan beda yah..? Nah, yang ini garuk2 bingung. Mampus dah gue kalo sampe dapet doi. Untung kawan juga agak lama diagnose pasien di dlm, kita punya wkt pun juga gak ada banyak alias kita harus CT Scan ke NUH. Ya sudahlah, pamitlah kita..
(blagak) reschedule buat besok aja dah..
So, kembali lah kitake NUH tapi langsung ke imaging center buat CT Scan.
Sama aja gilanya!
Tangan gue mau disuntikin cairan yang katanya biar bisa liat/highlight semua isi badan gue. DUUUUUH.. poking here and there.. Ini tangan kalo bisa tereak udah tereak dari kapan2 kali. Sama aja susahnya. Tangan kiri udah diocba, gagal! Tuker lagi pake tangan kanan. At the end of the day, tangan gue sebenernya udah biru sana sini dan memar sana sini. Tapi gak apalah, daripada dipasangin yang di dlm badan gue??

Selesai semua, ketemu sama oncologist yg di NUH (he's the chief there, btw).
Sebenernya sih pilihannya juga sama aja.
Folfox atau Xelox.
Kalo pake Folfox, ada tube yg ditanam di chest gue (ogah kan..?). I may have to have the treatment up to 12 times, each treatment lasts 2 weeks. In other words, every 2 weeks I have to go back to S'pore for a 2-day treatment.
While with Xelox is different. Xelox is a Xeloda (chemo pills) and oxaliplatin (chemo drug as well, but given by infusion for 2 hours only).
Actually, Folfox also uses oxaliplatin. But, anyway, Xelox is pretty much very convinience and more advance. I only have to stay in the hospital for 2 hours, and the rest of the chemo is in pill form that I must take for 14 days. Length of treatment is different. I have to go back to S'pore to get another infusion in 3 weeks time - next one will be June 1st. Cool, huh??

*sigh*

Well.. welcome home me! Right after the first chemo, I was in the plane back to JKT at 9 PM. Technology these days..
Suprise.. suprise..

New Picture!

2007-05-06T09:30:00.001+07:00

Here's the latest picture of my sis after the cancer verdict. Out of the hospital, looking good, and grabing a REAL FOOD! Note also on the left her new cool cellphone. ENVY!

12 myths about colon cancer!

2007-05-04T03:27:00.000+07:00

This article are taken from eMaxHealth.com:

12 Myths About Colon Cancer

Colon cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in the United States, and the No. 1 cause of cancer death among non-smokers. More than 150,000 Americans will be diagnosed with colon cancer this year, and 52,000 will die from the disease.

It doesn't have to be that way.

"Most colorectal cancers are predictable by early diagnosis and screening. If colonoscopy can identify a problem early, we could completely prevent colorectal cancer," says D. Kim Turgeon, M.D., clinical associate professor of gastroenterology at the University of Michigan Medical School.

In fact, colorectal cancer screening prevents more deaths due to early detection than breast or prostate cancer screening.

Here, experts from the University of Michigan Comprehensive Cancer Center address some of the common myths and misconceptions about colorectal cancer.

Myth 1: Colon cancer is a white man's disease.
Truth: Colon cancer affects both men and women equally, and it affects people of all races. In 2007, the American Cancer Society estimates, 55,290 men and 57,050 women will be diagnosed with colon cancer. About equal numbers will die from the disease: 52,000 Americans altogether. The No. 1 risk factor for colon cancer is age

Myth 2: I don't have any symptoms, so I must not have colon cancer.
Truth: "One of the most common misconceptions is that symptoms will be evident if a person has colorectal cancer. In fact, the most common symptom is no symptoms at all," says Emina Huang, M.D., assistant professor of surgery at the U-M Medical School. More than half of people diagnosed with colon cancer have no symptoms. Symptoms such as a change in stool, rectal bleeding, abdominal pain and unexplained weight loss can all signal colon cancer. But once these symptoms begin to develop, it may be a sign of more advanced disease. Half of people diagnosed after symptoms develop will die from colon cancer.

Myth 3: Colonoscopy is difficult to prepare for.
Truth: Preparing for a colonoscopy involves cleaning the colon with the help of prescription and over-the-counter medications. Typically these are liquid drinks that must be consumed a day or two before the procedure. "People shouldn’t be afraid of it because they don't want to drink the laxative. There are many more options so you can find something that is tolerable," Turgeon says. Ask your doctor or pharmacist about your options.

Myth 4: Colonoscopy is unpleasant and uncomfortable.
Truth: It's not as bad as you think. Most people agree the prep is the worst part (see Myth 3). During the actual procedure, patients are sedated to eliminate discomfort. The procedure itself takes 15-30 minutes and you can resume normal activities the next day

Myth 5: I saw Katie Couric get a colonoscopy on the Today Show, so I should get one too.
Truth: Colonoscopy screening is recommended for men and women beginning at age 50, unless other risk factors exist. If you're 50 or older, talk to your doctor about screening. If you are younger than 50 but have other risk factors – such as family history, obesity, smoking, ulcerative colitis or Crohn's disease – talk to your doctor about your screening needs. But remember, age is the most significant risk factor for colon cancer.

Myth 6: Colonoscopy is the only way to screen for colon cancer.
Truth: There are several screening options for colorectal cancer, including flexible sigmoidoscopy, fecal occult blood test and double-contrast barium enema. But colonoscopy is considered the gold standard. It detects more cancers, examines the entire colon, and can be used for screening, diagnosis and removing polyps in one visit.

Myth 7: A polyp means I have cancer.
Truth: Polyps are benign growths that, if left unchecked, have the potential to develop into cancer. Polyps can be easily removed during colonoscopy. Not all polyps are pre-cancerous.

Myth 8: Colonoscopy is just a screening technique.
Truth: Colonoscopy is an all-in-one tool. It can find and remove polyps and small cancers all during one procedure. If your colonoscopy reveals a polyp, your doctor will remove it immediately. By removing the polyp at this stage, it prevents it from becoming cancerous. If colonoscopy reveals cancerous lesions, further treatments may be necessary.

Myth 9: If I have colon cancer, it means I am dying.
Truth: When colon cancer is caught early, it has a 95 percent survival rate. That's why screening is so important. Once colon cancer has spread to the liver, it's usually deadly, with only a 9 percent survival rate. But even then, treatments are improving. Radiation oncologists at U-M have developed a method to shrink tumors that spread to the liver, in some cases allowing them to be removed with surgery. This has led to higher survival rates even in the most advanced cases.

Myth 10: Surgery will be disfiguring and recovery painful.
Truth: New surgical advances allow for minimally invasive procedures that leave only a small scar. Patients undergoing laparoscopic surgery may have an easier recovery than patients who have open surgery. Some evidence suggests cancer control is better with a minimally invasive approach.

Myth 11: If I have colon surgery, I’ll need a colostomy bag.
Truth: A colostomy, in which surgeons create an artificial, external method to collect excrement, is rarely done anymore. Surgical techniques have improved so that the cancer can be effectively removed while sparing the rectum. In the past, cancers within 4 inches of the anus routinely required removing the anus for effective surgical control. Now, 80 percent of these cancers may be effectively removed while sparing the anus.

Myth 12: Few research advances focus on colon cancer.
Truth: Much exciting research is occurring in colon cancer. At U-M, research has focused on improving radiation techniques, including using radiation to shrink tumors that have spread to the liver. Researchers are also working with colon cancer stem cells, the small number of cells within a tumor that fuel its growth. It's believed that identifying the cancer stem cells will allow more effective drugs to be developed. Other research is looking at multiple genes involved in colon cancer and at improving screening techniques so more cancers can be detected early. This includes searching for markers in blood, stool or urine that might provide an easier screening tool to early signs of colon cancer. In the area of prevention, researchers are looking at the effects of curcumin (found in curry), resveratrol (found in red wine), ginger and the Mediterranean diet on the growth and development of colon cancer.

Gotta Be Strong Before Chemo!

2007-05-03T09:50:00.000+07:00

So,

The whole troops - me, my mom, my aunti, my sister and her husband, my nephew and his nanny - went to take me to see 2 doctors yesterday. The internist and the digestive surgeon. They both told me that I should start my chemo ASAP and I should keep eating during chemo. In a way, he told me to "force" myself to eat. Hey, I wonder why.. it turns out that during chemo, I'll be losing my appetite. Hmmm... Make sense. No wonder they kept telling me "eat whatever you want as long as they're clean" so that I have lots of energy for the chemo.

After the doctor announced that I'm allowed to eat whatever, we celebrate a little.
Hahahahahahahaha... For the past 3 days I'd been craving like a mad person for pizza!
So, yesterday after we left the hospital, my auntie took me for a treat at Pizza Hut!
Only me, my mom, and my auntie went dining at Pizza Hut, the rest gotta go pick up my my niece from school. But it was (kinda) fun. Imagine, I ate that pizza slooooowly. Really get the taste of the food just like I've never tasted pizza before. Hey, it's been 3 weeks I only ate that same puree food! Have mercy on me!

Anyway, I actually have a picture of me taking a delicious bite of that pizza and enjoying my new cellular phone I got from my sister. But, poor Stephanie, doesn't really know how to upload the photo - I knew actually, but it's just goddamn slow. Let that picture come up next time I have enough patience. :)

-stephanie-

Funny Clips Of The Day III

2007-05-03T02:28:00.000+07:00

This one is not a clip from a sitcom. Rather is a stand up comedy. Just for a quick laugh. Enjoy!

What Colon Cancer Look Like

2007-05-02T01:57:00.000+07:00

Colon on an X-Ray-Red part is the Cancerous

Ask Your Doctor: Colorectal Cancer

( Taken from New York Times Article May 1, 2007)

1) When should I start being screened, how often should I be tested and which test is best for me?

2) Are there colorectal symptoms that should prompt me to see a doctor?

3) How long does it take for the doctor to examine the colon during a colonoscopy? (A recent study indicated that doctors who take fewer than eight minutes are most likely to miss polyps.)

4) Will the doctor provide a written report of my test results in layman's English?

5) How likely will this test give a false-positive result - mistakenly indicating that something is wrong - or a false negative, which fails to diagnose a cancer or precancerous condition?

New Articles From New York Post

2007-05-02T01:50:00.000+07:00

Hi All, here's a new articles about Colon Cancer. A little bit scary but worth the read. By the end of the day, early detection is the sure way to beat cancer...

How to Halve the Death Rate From Colon Cancer

By DENISE GRADY
Published: May 1, 2007

EVEN though screening tests can prevent colorectal cancer or find it early enough to cure, the disease is still the second-leading cause of cancer death in the United States, with nearly 165,000 new cases and more than 52,000 deaths expected this year.

Rates of colorectal cancer have been declining in recent years, by about 2 percent annually, thanks mostly to increased screening. Yet fewer than half the people who should be screened bother to do so. If they did, the death rate could probably be halved, cancer experts say.
The reason this cancer is so easily prevented or cured is that most of the time it begins as a polyp in the lining of the intestine, progressing slowly and possibly turning malignant. Tests that examine the colon can find polyps, and doctors can snip them out before they become cancers. Or the tests can reveal early tumors that can also be removed.

But tests for colorectal cancer are not popular. Most adults should start being screened at age 50 (sooner for people at high risk because of family history, certain bowel disorders or gene mutations), but many put it off. Some are squeamish about the tests, which require patients to collect stool samples or have an instrument inserted into the rectum.
Screening advocates point out that the unpleasantness is a small price to pay to avoid a painful and deadly disease, and most people who have had the tests say they are no big deal. The worst part of a colonoscopy, many people find, is not the test itself, which is usually done under sedation, but the “prep,” which requires a day at home to take supercharged laxatives to empty the intestines.

“Data tells us this is a problem of people not feeling a strong impetus to be screened from their primary care physician,” said Dr. Robert Smith, the director of screening for the American Cancer Society. “Doctors think patients won’t want to do it, so they don’t bring it up. And they may be ambivalent about which test to endorse. Some patients get a referral, leave the office and the process of scheduling is so esoteric it just doesn’t happen. Everybody’s intending to do the right thing, but it doesn’t get around to taking place.”

For people with an average risk of developing colorectal cancer, the American Cancer Society recommends that screening start at 50, with one of five tests:
¶An annual fecal occult blood test, or a new version called a fecal immunochemical test, to look for blood in the stool.
¶Every five years, flexible sigmoidoscopy, in which a scope examines the lower part of the colon.
¶An annual stool test with sigmoidoscopy every five years.
¶A test involving a barium enema and X-rays every five years.
¶Every 10 years, colonoscopy, in which a scope is inserted into the rectum to examine the entire large intestine.

If one of the first four tests finds anything abnormal, colonoscopy is needed to check further.
The first test developed for blood in the stool required that patients avoid eating red meat or raw vegetables for several days beforehand, to avoid false positives, but that is not required for the newer immunochemical test. This test is also easier to perform and may replace the old one, but it costs more and not all insurers cover it yet, Dr. Smith said.
Patients must do the stool tests themselves at home on several samples, the cancer society emphasizes.

Polyps are less likely to bleed than actual cancers, so the tests for blood are more likely to find cancers than they are to detect polyps.
The drawback of sigmoidoscopy is that it examines only the lower part of the colon, so it misses polyps or cancers higher up.
Barium-enema tests do not find as many small polyps as colonoscopy does, Dr. Smith said.
But colonoscopy can also miss polyps, especially if doctors rush it, studies have found. Yet it is still the best test, Dr. Smith said, because when done carefully it finds small polyps, which can be removed right then. For most people, the test does not have to be done more than once every 10 years.

“But is it available or can you pay?” Dr. Smith said. “Can you get the examination in a timely fashion? You may have an eight- or nine-month wait to get one.”
Some doctors do tests for blood in the stool when patients are in the 10-year interval between colonoscopies, but Dr. Smith said that is “excessive and not justified.”

“Virtual colonoscopy” sounds less onerous to some people. It involves using a CT scan instead of a scope, and doesn’t require sedation. It does require the same prep as colonoscopy, with a tube inserted into the rectum to inflate the colon with gas to create clearer images.
Polyps cannot be removed during this procedure, so if any show up, the patient has to go back for a colonoscopy.

The virtual test is being heavily marketed by some clinics, but the American Cancer Society and other groups are not recommending it yet, saying it needs more study.
But Dr. Smith said, “I think the data from expert centers is really quite promising.”

Looking forward for Chemo

2007-04-29T19:02:00.000+07:00

This is Stephanie speaking (haiyaaaaaaah....) .. one.. two.. three.. hello.. hello..

hahahahaha...

At this time I really miss yummy food!
With this condition and with lots of foods that I'm not allowed to eat anymore.. it almost kills me. Hey, I'm fine with my cancer. REALLY. My brother wrote, that when the doctor said you got cancer and you should cry out loud. Seriously, I just couldn't cry. What I'm not okey with is the fact that I won't be allowed to eat lots of food. Hey, who doesn't love that Rib Eye Steak?? Who doesn't love that Caramel Ice Cream from Gelatissimo?? And who doesn't love that Iced Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks? Not able to enjoy that, YES, I was going to cry. And the fact that I have to eat vegetables makes it worse!

You know what I'm eating right now..???
No.. no.. no.. even worse than baby food. Even Gerber is much better! Even Marie biscuit with hot milk is better!
Everything must be puree. I can eat mashed potatoes, but they keep making me porridge - I won't be surprise if the 3 bears starting to mess up my mom's kitchen looking for their tastelss porridge.

Before the chemo start, according to my mom - which she said according to the doctor (god knows who which doctor), I should not eat meat and any sugary thing. Why??
Because, apparently, cancer looooove meat and sugary thing. And to avoid from the cancer to increase in my beautiful body, I should avoid that for awhile. But once the chemo starts, I can eat anything I want including ice cream, meat. Why (again)? because it's easier for the chemo to kill the cancer.

Ah, well.. looking forward the for Chemo to start so I can enjoy eating yummy food!
Once the chemo start, I'm gonna get that Caramel ice cream.. spaghetti.. what else..? Hmm.. that's all I'm dying for right now.. But I don't mind getting tempe bacem..

Anyway, why don't I go back resting. I'll update you (if I'm inspired to write) with more news from me. If not, let my brother do the talking..

See y'all!

-stephanie-

Food That Beats Cancer---> Too Good To Be True!!

2007-04-29T11:31:00.000+07:00

Came across some online articles today about "devilish" food that beat cancer from www.prevention.com. Try to sneak them into you diets:

"Cheat" Foods that Fight Cancer A whole new reason to sneak treats on your diet

(Nov. 7, 2006)--Here's a reason to grin. Even your favorite off-limit treats kick in toward your daily choline goal of 425 mg. In recent USDA research, the nutrient lowered blood levels of homocysteine by 8%, a sign of protection from cancer, heart attack, stroke, and dementia. Pack your diet with wheat germ (43 mg in 1/4 cup), baked beans (40 mg in 1/2 cup), and pistachios (22 mg in 1/4 cup), but these surprising choline sources can help, too:

The Cheat The Choline
Chocolate cake, 1-inch slice 162 mg
Blueberry muffin 59 mg
Chicken nuggets, 6 pieces 39 mg
Beef and bean burrito, 3.5 ounces 28 mg
Light beer, 8 ounces 19 mg
Vanilla ice cream, 1/2 cup 19 mg

PICTIONARY !!!!

2007-04-29T11:09:00.000+07:00

i'm bored this saturday night, so i gather up some pictures my sister gave me and VOILA !

Wish I Was There!

2007-04-29T09:37:00.000+07:00

This picture was taken on my nephew FOX birthday. CUTENESS !! By the way, don't you think my sister looks BEAUTIFUL???

Yet, another one!

2007-04-29T01:52:00.000+07:00

Today's 4 sets of Funny Clips's are from Will & Grace, another of my sister's favorite. If you guys missed yesterday funny clips from Golden Girls, go find more at www.youtube.com and search for Golden Girls.

Later Y'all !!

Addition To This Website!

2007-04-27T11:15:00.000+07:00

Hi All !

I add new feature to this blog. FUNNY CLIP OF THE DAY. Every other day I will post funny clips from our favorite sitcoms. First up is the GOLDEN GIRLS. Enjoy!

What this cancer called...

2007-04-26T13:12:00.002+07:00

What my sister have is not an ordinary colon cancer, she had what doctor said:

Familial Adenomatous Polyposis

and yes this kind of cancer is heditary. So if your parents or any of your family had this type of cancer, take out your lazy but out of the sofa and see your doctor!

As for me, i'm gonna get myself tested on 4/27/07 with my doctor Dr. Richard Powell. Excited and anxious at the same time: wish me luck!

For more information about this disease go follow this link: http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition=familialadenomatouspolyposis

By the way, the pic is my lovely sister Stephanie & Chloe (our niece) . More pictures to come!

Our First Blog - Ever!

2007-04-25T13:40:00.000+07:00

Hi Y'all ! And welcome to our first blog!!

We are the WIDYASTANTO'S and we are Dedeq (the oldest sister), Stephanie (The older sister) and myself Chris (the youngest and the most handsome one--> HEY! give me some credit, i started this blog!)

The reason why we started this blog is because our dear sister Stephanie just diagnosed with colon cancer this mid April 2007. We want to make this blog space as our diary to talk about her, our family, her treatment and those dreaded word:CANCER! We will update this blog hopefully every other day to keep you updated with the recent treatment there is out there to beat this son-of-a-bitch called Cancer. PLEASE, feel free to add comments! Maybe you guys can also give us some news on new treatment that is not widely known yet and share it with all of us.

Here's my top 5 list of what do you NEED to do when your doctor tell you that you have cancer:
5) CRY YOUR HEARTS OUT ! ---> Yes folk, there is no crying in baseball, but if your doctor just told you that you have cancer you HAVE to cry. Hey, you just got cancer! You're a human; not a robot!

4) BLAME YOUR PARENTS! ---> Come on'; you know you've been waiting all your life wanting to blame your parents on something. This is maybe your only chance! Study shows that cancer is actually heditary. Therefore, if there's cancer history in your parents or family, do yourself a favor and GET TESTED. Early detection is the best way to beat cancer!

3) DO A MAKEOVER! ---> Change everything that you always want to do in your life and have new perspective in live. Change your wardrobe, your room, hell, even change your boy/girlfriend! Step in with a New You!

2) START A BUSINESS! ---> Now that you have extra time to reflect on your life, think about what you can do best and make money out of it! Think about what other cancer patients may need during this time. Do they need special kind of food? Do they need a special group? Think! Think! There's no better time to start your own business when you down & desperate.

1) RENT OR BUY COMEDY DVD! ---> Ever heard the saying "comedy is the best medicine"? Well it is ! Forget about your cancer and start thinking about those Will&Grace or Golden Girls episodes; especially keep these handy when you undergo chemo. It will keep your mind off things , chemo, and cancer.

Well that's all folks! Hope to see you in the next update!