PHEW!

Phew!
Phew!
Phew!

Finally!
That ridiculous Xeloda is gone. I felt so happy when swallowed the last pills this morning.
I have been waiting for this moment for months. Gosh..
Waiting for those pills to finish is like waiting for .. I dunno.. you tell me.

While I was on Xeloda, I have this hideous side effect. I already have sleeping problem even without the Xeloda. It is just a minor side effect, tho, but it was such a pain in the ass. Now that I was reviewing my medication intake and wrote them down while I was enjoying the Friends sitcom (with annoying background of my mom asking me questions that I don't even care), I realized that what I've been going thru for the past 8 months was the less common side effects of Xeloda.
These are what I experienced:
1. Insomnia (yeah.. even worse.. with the sleeping problem I have..)
2. Cough (HAH! double worse with the actual cough)
3. Swelling of the feet
4. Low white blood cell count (which then I had to take the Neupogen injection and nobody could do it right, except my friend Melissa and my cousin's friend, Didit)
5. Taste changes

Luckily, my appetite was still good. When everybody asked me about my appetite, they were just surprise to see me eat just anything - the whole tree if I have to. I myself am quiet surprise to see moi-meme that I have a good appetite. Except that I was just sick of eating steamed veggies. They're just so yuck..

Besides that I had good appetite, I still had my energy. Yes, baby, this crazy Stephanie just have 13 lives (4 more than a cat)!
I still have my busy schedule:
1. working full time at school's library
2. teaching piano after school and on weekends (luckily, my weekend student is a very talented and smart one. So, no harm and happy to do it)
3. working on my own association (which goes nowhere.. hahahaha..)
4. busy with another association
With all of the activities above that I do on daily basis, I still manage to be with my family - especially with my niece and nephew - and friends. Man.. I do have a busy schedule! 24 hours ain't enough for a girl like me.

But tonite.. I couldn't be any happier than to see my Xeloda is finito.
Even though I'm sick of eating veggies and fruits - please, never like them ever since I was small anyway, I am so looking forward to enter a new phase of my life. Especially the food! Yumm... All I have in mind for the past 2 weeks is this yummy salad, fresh juice.. Well, it's not that I didn't eat them at all, but I wonder why am I like this?

Hell with everything!
I'm getting my salad from The Coffee Bean tomorrow afternoon!!
Yeeeehaaaaaaaa....!!!

*toast*
To a new phase of life ...

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Over with Chemo and.. now what..?

So, about a month ago I went for my 7th chemo and CT Scan.
Surprisingly, nothing much happened with my lungs since the last chemo.. It just stays the same..
No improvement, but it's not getting worse as well..
Maybe my body just sick of chemo and it just rejects all kinds of chemical thing.. or not?
MUST BE.. Even I'm getting sick of eating healthy food. Really.
Lately I've been eating whatever food I feel like eating. From pancakes to fried rice, and ice cream to bubble drinks.
This last damn chemo.. I really had to struggle to get out of bed and make myself visible in the chemo room. Damn it was so hard. I just didn't want to do it at all. But I kept thinking: shit, if this isn't for you (Oliver), I won't do it. I would just escape from the hospital and take the very next flight to Jakarta.
Luckily, I managed to sit throughout the whole chemo session and fell asleep - and Ivan was next to me throughout the chemo. With Ivan, YES, we broke up. But it doesn't mean that we can't be friends, right? He's been my Chemo Buddy for Christ sake!
And until this minute, I still manage not so skip pills. The last 2 chemos, I didn't even care taking the pills or not. Sometimes I even did it on purpose.

And now...

Well, November 14th I will have another CT Scan. God forbid.. PLEASEEEEEEE... no more weird spreading.
As my onco said: we just wait and watch.. Dude, you scared the shit out of me.

*sigh*
That's exactly what I'm gonna do now.. WATCH and SEE..
Meanwhile, I'm starting to become a vegan freak again as soon as the Xeloda's finished.

I can't wait!!

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