Sunday, October 19, 2008

Over with Chemo and.. now what..?

So, about a month ago I went for my 7th chemo and CT Scan.
Surprisingly, nothing much happened with my lungs since the last chemo.. It just stays the same..
No improvement, but it's not getting worse as well..
Maybe my body just sick of chemo and it just rejects all kinds of chemical thing.. or not?
MUST BE.. Even I'm getting sick of eating healthy food. Really.
Lately I've been eating whatever food I feel like eating. From pancakes to fried rice, and ice cream to bubble drinks.
This last damn chemo.. I really had to struggle to get out of bed and make myself visible in the chemo room. Damn it was so hard. I just didn't want to do it at all. But I kept thinking: shit, if this isn't for you (Oliver), I won't do it. I would just escape from the hospital and take the very next flight to Jakarta.
Luckily, I managed to sit throughout the whole chemo session and fell asleep - and Ivan was next to me throughout the chemo. With Ivan, YES, we broke up. But it doesn't mean that we can't be friends, right? He's been my Chemo Buddy for Christ sake!
And until this minute, I still manage not so skip pills. The last 2 chemos, I didn't even care taking the pills or not. Sometimes I even did it on purpose.

And now...

Well, November 14th I will have another CT Scan. God forbid.. PLEASEEEEEEE... no more weird spreading.
As my onco said: we just wait and watch.. Dude, you scared the shit out of me.

That's exactly what I'm gonna do now.. WATCH and SEE..
Meanwhile, I'm starting to become a vegan freak again as soon as the Xeloda's finished.

I can't wait!!

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Anonymous said...

Hi Stephanie, just read your blog, and you've been thru a lot. I dunno if you've read this article , it's about looking at cancer from a different point of view. And also i recently read that lemongrass tea causes cancer cells to kill themselves! Maybe you can read that up. Anyway, keep on fighting! Praying for a good CT scan!

akis - nina said...

Whoever you are.. thank you for your support!
I will read that article and I make sure to keep everyone updated.