Thursday, August 28, 2008

2 More To Go

So not happy with chemo.
I just arrived from Singapore last week and I'm not looking forward to do chemo anymore.

I'm experiencing bitterness on my tongue after this chemo. It just feels uncomfy. More tired and easily annoyed.. it's just different.

What I noticed as well.. Well.. it started from when Ivan, maybe, just jokingly asked for my egg so he and his wify can have a baby. Things went wrong with her egg, that's why. I was so pissed and mad, and, as usual, I never really show it to anyone - including him. I was boiling, tho, for 5 minutes, but that was it. So he thought I was really mad at him - which I did, for 5 minutes. He texted me several days after and I responded as usual but it just seemed different even though I was not mad at him anymore. To cut story short, regardless what happened between us, he was still there for me during chemo - and he got me a really nice DKNY blouse! What saddend me was that we didn't talk much at that day. I usually want him to be near me until the last boarding call in Changi. This time, I couldn't say anything much but to let him go and got in different cab. My mood was not good at all.

What more is, since I'm no mood for taking any chemo, today I completely forgot to take my chemo pills! Good work, Steph..

Count down.. 2 more chemo to go. The doc said that we should see again in 3 weeks time. So, on .. if I'm not mistake.. the 11th of Sept I'll have a CT Scan and have to drink that tasteless pee-water (according to Ivan) and see the doctor. If the CT Scan shows same result as the last CT Scan, then we'll take a break. If the result shows that the spots are fewer, then we'll go on with the chemo 2 more times. Damn it!

Last, on next chemo.. my sister better come with me instead of my mom.

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1 comment:

Felicia said...

(((HUGS))) for ya. Chemo IS a BITCH. From a medical stand point, effective as the treatment maybe the side effect is insufferable to the patients. I really feel for you, Ntep.

I spent 2 quarters in college learning about cancer, chemo, nutrition and therapy. It's difficult for people who are not going through what you're going through or uninformed people to be aware of the side effects, how it robs your life quality.

Unfortunately, chemo IS a necessary bitch to help you fight the disease. So, I hope you are hanging in as you can, difficult as it is.